76. The Crisis Cleanout: How to Empty a Home Quickly Without Getting Stuck

When a crisis hits your family we know firsthand the exhaustion and overwhelm that cleaning out a home quickly can bring. We've been there with our own families and want to help you avoid the mistakes we made.

A crisis move or an estate clean-out often comes with a quick timeline and a long list of tasks to coordinate. Let us show you our top strategies for making the process easier. From dealing with sibling dynamics, to how to sort a houseful of items quickly we've got you covered. You'll learn which items to save to sort later, what to prioritize first, and how to maximize your time to empty the home quickly. 

In this episode:
•    why clean-outs become emotionally overwhelming so quickly 
•    why one family member almost always becomes “the doer” 
•    how “maybe” piles quietly destroy momentum 
•    why sorting and deciding are two different jobs 
•    how sibling dynamics slow progress 
•    what families waste too much time trying to preserve or sell 
•    how to reduce decision fatigue 
•    the operational details families forget while emotionally focused on belongings

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Transcript

Jodi Rosko 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jody Roscoe and Heather Fisher. We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts. Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.

Heather Fisher 0:17

Welcome to the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast, Crisis Cleanouts. We're going to be talking today about them and how to empty a home quickly without getting stuck in the process.

Jodi Rosko 0:29

Yeah, we see a lot of these actually. More than I want to see. I hope like that we can make some changes with all of the podcasts that we've done and all the information that we share. But we unfortunately see a lot of crisis clean out. And so we'll talk about if you've gotten to this place, what what you're going to do about it. So I'm Jody Roscoe. I'm Heather Fisher. Last episode we talked about making a plan B so that you have some of this planned all out already. So if you aren't in this crisis place, go back and listen to the one that we uh just let uh dropped last week um about making a plan because this is a yucky place to be, and I've been in this place. Um and so uh it took me way longer than it should have because I didn't want to be doing all the things that I was doing. So um so I would just say if you're there though, like hopefully we can give you some practical tips on what that looks like.

Heather Fisher 1:24

Yeah, and uh we'll walk through that that process of a couple weeks or a month or two uh when a transition happens or when a death happens and you're dealing with that. Um so you know, it can give you some more clues of um what you can avoid on top of last week's episode regarding stuff and the house itself. Um, but for all those family members and loved ones and spouses, um, or maybe even yourself, uh, that you have something that's happened, you're moving into a community quickly, uh, you're dealing with a house that the person who lived there is vacating quickly, and you're just not sure how to get from here to there to get the the home sold quickly, get those finances into the right place to uh continue care um or or get that finalized. Um let's dive in on what to do.

Jodi Rosko 2:21

Yeah. Yeah, so um I think we're gonna talk about decision fatigue, we're gonna talk about all of the stuff that you need to do, uh sibling dynamics, all kinds of things. So um stay tuned for all of those things. But um let's just talk about how how these situations usually set up, like what happens. So um often it will be a sudden health event, a fall, you know, something like that, um, an accident. Um rehab will become permanent. So you we what will happen is you think, oh, we're just taking mom or dad or my you know, husband, wife, whatever, to rehab, but then when they get there, uh they say they can't go home. Like this is gonna be, you know, we they can't go home. Um an assisted living move happens quickly. Again, that usually is because of some kind of a health event or something that has happened. You fall in one too many times, um, something like that. Um death followed by immediate stress, you know, uh uh uh the the estate pressure of you know dealing with it so somebody has passed away. Um and so um the house may be no need to be sold quickly for financial reasons, and so we need to kind of get that together, or you have to do this quickly because you don't even live in this state where this is, and you're gonna come in for you know a short period of time, and you need to get it all done in that short period of time.

Heather Fisher 3:42

Yeah, all of these situations are compounded by logistics on the other side as well. So that whole time period can be very stressful, and we're just gonna give uh some tools and some ways you can approach it to hopefully make it just a little bit uh logistically stressful and let it happen quickly so that um you know you can move back to the more important things.

Jodi Rosko 4:06

Yeah, and I think what happens is everybody's in shock. Um, and so um it feels like it's gonna be this calm process that happens, but it isn't because everybody's in shock and they have to make decisions quickly, and the house feels like frozen in like in time, like the person left and it doesn't look any different. It still feels like it's active and whatever, and so that makes decisions harder because you feel like you're um you're messing with somebody yes, you're messing with somebody's space that yes, it feels very intrusive.

Heather Fisher 4:38

So um we've been in homes where you can tell what meal they were they had last before they left, um, you know, and then they don't have that opportunity to come home. Right. And it's how do we we get this to a place that feels good for the people handling it.

Jodi Rosko 4:55

And usually because it's been an event, an event that happened quickly, not something that was just leading up to knowing and making these decisions, it's usually some kind of a defining event. People aren't emotionally ready for the speed of the decisions that they have to make, right? Because they're still in shock from the event that happened or what or grief, yeah. Right. And so emotionally, those decisions can be hard. And our brain, the way that our brain works, when we're under acute stress, our ameg amygdala fires up and then it narrows our perception so we we can't think as clearly or easily. Um and decision fatigue sets in much more quickly than it normally would. Um and so it shows that studies will make poorer decisions when they're when they've been under stress for four to six hours, and we know that when this is happening, stress is like hours and hours and hours, not just four to six hours, it's like weeks of stress. And so um so the decision making becomes more difficult because you're you're under stress and your brain is like shutting you down so that you're trying it's trying to save you, but it doesn't save you then from making decisions, good decisions.

Heather Fisher 6:02

Yeah, this is when we see those panic decisions surface and they can just create more logistical problems. Um you know panic selling the house from you know a low-ball investor offer. You could, you know, not have time to um properly make decisions on the stuff and have regret later about um something that you wish you would have kept. You can have those arguments because there's not a process and there's too many cooks in the kitchen um trying to help, um, but everybody has their own idea of what that looks like. Right. Uh just lots of um decisions that can add to the stress.

Jodi Rosko 6:45

Yep, yep, for sure. Um so people families get stuck um uh quickly because um they they're they they're just again sorting sorting stuff, they're just the decisions are just too hard to make, right? So touching the item is not the same as making progress. So like it sometimes people just start like moving things around the house because they don't know what to do with it, and they kind of just start moving things around and you can spend you couldn't spend spend entire weekends with boxes of photos or with things that are very sentimental or emotionally evaluating objects um without making any progress on the the home.

Heather Fisher 7:30

Yeah, I've experienced this myself. Um you know, we all go through that, but picking up an item and thinking, oh, look at this, and then setting it back down without a decision when you compound that by item after item after item, those hours go by and at the end of the day you are exhausted and no decisions have been made. Yes, yes. Um so starting out with that sorting plan and parameters and things like that from the beginning uh will really uh gain some momentum.

Jodi Rosko 8:03

Yeah. Um, yeah, so we need it to basically shift from emotional to operational, like we need it to turn into, um, which isn't to say that there aren't going to be some things that are emotional um through it. There definitely, definitely are. But um, if you're like I have this timeline and I need to be this to be done in a week or two weeks or something like that, you won't have time to emotionally go through every every piece of thing. So a maybe pile can work um as long as not everything goes in the maybe pile. But um you you have to be careful if you're gonna put things in a maybe pile because that will come back to it later, multiplies very quickly, and it then it turns back into not seeing any visual progress and then feeling just demotivated by that. You just just destroy destroys your motivation. So um the things that for us that we needed to go in the maybe pile, and the maybe pile was like my car, because it was like that had to go out of the house visually away, um, were like photos or letters or um paperwork that needed to be gone through, but you can do that kind of at a later time. Um and so eventually, you know, if you make too many maybe piles, nobody wants to revisit those piles over and over because now it all feels super emotionally loaded because you weren't able to make that decision right at the beginning. Um, so so I I would say if you're going to do that, I would do it with just things that you know you're gonna have to. I mean, some of that stuff I still haven't gone through four years later, um, pictures and certain things because it was hard for me and I will get to that place. But um that wasn't happening in two weeks. No way, no way.

Heather Fisher 9:49

Yeah, those are um somewhat easier to move things. Of course, volume compounds the difficulty, but um, it's not big pieces of furniture, it's not um, you know, tons of boxes of housewares. That tends to be something where you can pack up the several boxes of photos or paperwork, um, you know, maybe even do a very cursory scan to weed out junk mail and advertisements and things like that, and then take other things that are related to accounts and insurance and banking statements, things like that to be sorted later. Um, but you know, that initial run through to reduce the volume.

Jodi Rosko 10:31

So what ha what you don't want to do is like spend 45 minutes talking about like which Tupperware to keep, right? Because like you that's that should be an easy, you know, none of it probably, you know, it all could go to donation or you know, like if it's a state sale or whatever's happening. Um but again, like if you have family photos or or specific paperwork, that stuff may be something that you want to.

Heather Fisher 10:54

Yeah. I was just talking this week with uh my mom about a family friend that's going through a quick um time crunch move. And um, you know, I was asking my mom how she was planning to help. There, you know, she's going over there to help, and uh she said, Well, it'll be like when we helped them downsize before, and we'll just go through everything and see what they want to keep. Um, you know, and in my mind, I was picturing the one-on-one by one item that took so long. Um, I would say in these short time frame crisis situations, you really want to start the day with what is most important to keep that, you know, however many people really want, and how do we logistically get those things out of the house to where they need to go? Because you do not need to touch every item when it comes to the cleaning supplies or the yard equipment in the garage, unless those are particular things that someone wants and takes from the family, those are the type of things where those resources can help speed up your time with a donation pickup, a junk clean out, um, you know, an estate sale, all of those pieces. So focus on what are the important things you already know must be kept.

Jodi Rosko 12:11

Yeah. What happens is one family member usually becomes the doer. And um, whether they want to be the doer or the project manager or not, but that is usually what happens. And um sometimes that can be a bottleneck, but the doer becomes, you know, the person that um you know ke holds the keys to everything, the donation coordinator, the person that's the paperwork sorter, you know, the person that manages all the utilities and bills and you know, whatever. Um, and so I would say um, and sometimes they're the person that has to be the sibling communicator to whatever's going on between different siblings. So um I think on some level it's good to have somebody that is in charge. Everybody can't be in charge, but make sure that that's not too much on that one person that you maybe delegate the some different things, and one person can be in charge of part of it, and one person can be in charge of another part of it.

Heather Fisher 13:09

Yeah, I think that stems from, you know, a lot of times either proximity or their involvement up to and leading into this crisis, uh, so they already are the holder of a lot of information, um, or you know, they're just a good systems person. They're that take charge person. And so it's not necessarily bad to have one person be that point person, but if it's if if you're a sibling and it's not you, um just make sure you're appreciating, you know, either take some of it on, or if you don't want to, or know that's not your strength, be appreciative of what they're doing and lean into the things that fit your, you know, your personality or your abilities better. Can you just be the hauler of things to a donation drop-off? Can you be the box, you know, be taping boxes together? What can you be doing uh so that all your strengths work together as a team instead of feeling like one person has taken over, but you also don't want to take over?

Jodi Rosko 14:17

Right. I think that's where a lot of the resentment and arguing and stuff comes from. And I will say we see this all the time. Um, and a lot of times what we will see is the one person who probably was closest to the person that, you know, is needing the help now, who is already helping them in all different ways, is now in charge of you know, all of this. And um what we see though is we'll see maybe unrealistic expectations from the people who weren't in the middle of it on the person who's the doer, right? So I'm not gonna be there to help you because I live far or whatever reasons, and but I want it to be this way, this way, and this way. Um and so trying that mindset. Yeah, try not to do that. If you really want to be that involved, come be involved, is I think what I would say. Um otherwise let the person handle it because that's really so much more stress on top of all of it, right?

Heather Fisher 15:15

So yeah, and if you're the doer, um, some mindset shifts around the expectations of other, you know, that you're putting on others. If if you've already, you know, if you're already the keeper of this information and that's why you're in that role, have some understanding that they just don't and you're the best person for it. Or if you're in charge uh, you know, by default of going through the whole house, um, you know, set your expectations of not waiting and expecting, you know, one other person or ten other people to come and wander through the house and not make progress. Um, I think some of the things you can do just uh to get through this is um to do that pre-work of you know putting all like things together and then having like, okay, here's the clothing in this bedroom, here's the kitchen stuff all over the dining room table, here's this, um, so that you don't have a whole army of people coming through and just picking things up and putting them down and not able to make decisions and then you're frustrated that progress wasn't made.

Jodi Rosko 16:26

And if you're the doer, um try to delegate, try to delegate some of it and say, okay, you go get all the clothes and put them all in, you know, one place, or you like take everything out of the kitchen cabinet so we can see what it is, and you know, so we can start to, you know, figure that out. Um and and because what'll happen is the doer will stop delegating because coordinating people can become harder than just doing it themselves, but then they get mad that they're doing it all themselves. So it all of it is communication, it's all communication problems, and it's just so magnified because you're under stress and you're maybe sad, and there's all kinds of parts to it. But um, yeah. So try to help each other out in in those ways, assign categories of responsibility and designate one person that is the doer, maybe in the communication person, but make sure that if that's you, don't take on that mental, like uh it's just easier if I do it myself. Like, don't you know try not to take that mental on and then create deadlines because you will also, I think something else we see all the time is people who aren't there are like, yeah, um I'm not there, but I oh I want this, this, and this out of the house, you know, these are the things that I want. Um, but then they don't come and get them. And so if that's you and you want things, come get them. Come get them out of the out of the place. You know, that's how you can help if you're you know, if that's the level of of help you can give in that situation, just at least come get them, send somebody to get them, do something so that they're you know not in in the way anymore.

Heather Fisher 18:00

Yeah, even worse, sometimes we see, well, I'm not giving you permission to make any decisions until I come take a look, but I can't come for two or three weeks or you know, whatever that looks like.

Jodi Rosko 18:13

And so make the time and come or or let go of whatever it is that you think you need.

Heather Fisher 18:19

Communicate on that.

Jodi Rosko 18:20

Yeah, those are those are hard ones, but especially if you need to make a quick move with the house, um, you can't wait on people, siblings, whoever that can't get there to do, you know, sometimes it's grandkids like, well, they'll they'll want this or you know, whatever. But um the first step of it really is I think you know, sorting things into categories, but then it is having everybody come and take what they're want they're wanting, like because you don't want to be donating things when somebody else is like, wait, that's what I wanted, right? So having everybody come and just making that a a deadline. This is what this is what's happening, it needs to be done by this time.

Heather Fisher 18:55

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Jodi Rosko 18:58

Because a lot of times I think we don't I think people that are on the fringes of what's happening don't see the um time crunch. They don't understand it. They're just and and not and not to even be mad about it, you know, with them. They just don't understand what's happening. So they're like, Oh yeah, I'll get there. And in their mind that's okay, but in your mind you're like, no, you need to be here today or tomorrow.

Heather Fisher 19:18

Well, sometimes um, you know, if this is happening and uh the per the homeowner is m in a um senior living community and that's the time frame, there's financial concerns where they might need that home sold as quickly as possible to be able to get the care that you need. So looking at it from the perspective of um, you know, that care for your parent or, you know, that person, that the faster you can help with this process and keep it moving along, the faster they can be settled from their stress and financial burden for that next step. Um, it's not much different if it's uh someone that passed and you're trying to settle the estate for that because the longer the house sits there, um you're losing money as uh an estate by the carry-in costs uh that come with a house, even if it's paid for, or the t deterioration that comes if it just sits there empty, uh paying for utilities to stay on, all of those things, um time is of the essence for benefits, not just as a pressure point.

Jodi Rosko 20:25

Yeah. Yeah, so um I think visually as you're as you're as you're going through the house, um, if you can get things out of the house, that helps so much. Visible reduction matters psychologically, like it makes you feel like you're making progress. So if there's stuff that needs to go to the trash, take it to the trash. If there's stuff that needs to go to donate, have somebody, you know, designate somebody to do that or get a pickup, have somebody, you know, get get yourself a pickup so that you can get some of that out of the way and start feeling, you know, great about it. Um I think that um you can create uh little color stickers that you know you're keeping, you're going, you know, like whatever those is, you can kind of create little systems around what that looks like. So, you know, one color of things is gonna be you're gonna keep it, one's gonna be that you're gonna donate it, and people are are gonna know. But the faster you can get it moved out of where it needs to be, the better you're gonna feel.

Heather Fisher 21:18

Yeah, um similarly you could be sorting it by who's taking something. So you could use uh stickers of some sort to identify people. People, uh painter's tape, um, not masking tape, don't ruin the right don't ruin the finish on furniture, but painter's tape should work pretty well or post-it notes, things like that, um, where you can identify things that have already been claimed and you know, try to group them in empty rooms as you go. Um, you know, get f things moving towards the exits, garages or um, you know, all grouped together in one room so it can easily be picked up.

Jodi Rosko 21:57

Let's talk about sibling dynamics and Fairness and all the, you know, struggles that people often have um through this. And I think there's a lot of um people are worried about fairness, like being equal, like financially equal, sentimentally equal. Um, you know, the number of items can be like you had five and I had ten, you know, like but it does, you know, financially that might be equal. I don't know. Um, and then the labor, like I did more than you did, you know, kind of there's all kinds of um different definitions of fairness, and everybody again, high, high emotional, everybody's highly emotional, and so all that stuff seems to come into play even more. Um, and so, and you're different people, like, right? So you have the saver and you have the avoider who can't deal, you know, with whatever. You have the quick decision maker and the keeper, you know, all of that stuff. Um, you know, different people process things differently. Some are very sentimental about how they process things, some are like, it's all junk, I just want it gone. You know, and we hear these words from people, like, you know, but it's mom stuff, like we need to, you know, and then the other one's like, yeah, it's gone, like let's get a dumpster. And so different personalities are hard at the same time.

Heather Fisher 23:14

Yeah, and you bring a lifetime of family dynamics, the good dynamics, the tense dynamics, you bring all of that to the table and then amplify it by um, you know, stress, potentially travel, uh tired, you know, exhaustion from physical work, um, it all gets amplified. So it can it can be a challenge, but um, if you all keep in mind that um end result, there are ways to work through it.

Jodi Rosko 23:40

Yeah, so I think one of the ways that you can do it, if you've grouped things together, um you can you know go in order and just like everybody, you know, somebody picks a number, like whoever's first or whatever, and then you go around and each person can pick something, you know, if you're in you're just gonna go in order and um till the stuff is gone.

Heather Fisher 23:59

Or till you get to the point where someone nobody else wants anything, okay donation. Right. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 24:04

Right. Or if nobody else wants anything and you want two more things, whatever, as long as everybody's good with that, that's fine. Um, but but in instead of because ideally what we would want is for instructions to have been left on what who got what and what that was. But 90% of the time that's not what's happening. Um and so that's why we're always advocating for that because it takes so much stress away from the family. But it's hard to um it's hard to basically say where everything goes, right? Right. And and often people don't know what's going to be super important to their pe their loved ones, right? It may not be the things they're thinking. So hopefully you don't all want the same thing. But if you do, then it needs to be some kind of a fairness, you know, pulling straws, like whatever that looks like.

Heather Fisher 24:52

Yeah, and it's okay um at that point when it has had the opportunity for that fairness cycle that if if you're the person who doesn't want a lot, it's okay if the saver wants a whole lot more. There's really no difference between that or donation. And it's okay if um you know you have those couple items that you chose that mean the most to you and someone else needs 20 of them versus the two or three that you took. All of that's okay once you've had that communication and had a system um so that all of that works. And there may be younger generations that need more stuff of just the household things, um, not the sentimental items, that it's just useful for them to have uh those kitchen items or furniture, things like that. So looking at it through a different lens of um uh you know, fairness but also equal isn't always the best solution.

Jodi Rosko 25:54

And I think when we're not the saver kind of a person, uh it's hard to watch the saver person save everything. And it feels like why are you doing that? And there's like some judgment around that. And so I would say try to just chuck that judgment away because everybody grieves differently. And so uh it may be that that's what they need to do right now. They may not save it forever, they might save it forever, but it it doesn't really matter. You're doing what you're doing, they're doing what they're doing.

Heather Fisher 26:22

Yeah, yeah. And if you're listening to this and um you know, you're you're the one with the house full of things and um you're wanting to avoid all these things down the road, um, just like Jody said, you know, the more notes you can tuck into things, the more stories you can already have told, the more decisions uh before your family is unsure of what to do, um, you know, that that can solve some of these layers. Yep, so sibling roles can be frustrating sometimes, but I my um my dad's mom, my grandma passed away. I was young, like seven, so I don't remember, but I remember my mom telling me, you know, my dad was one of seven siblings, and she just designated a room in her house for each child. Like, this is your room, handle it, take what you want. You know, so you've got like the artwork or the furniture, and if you didn't want it, then you know, up for grabs differently. But they kind of divided things uh in that fashion. So there's lots of things that will work.

Jodi Rosko 27:30

Yeah. I think that um the other thing that we that families can lose months on um is trying to maximize um either the c the the money that you get out of the things or um or where actually they should specifically go. Like, oh well the books need to go here specifically or this needs to go here specifically, and trying to find like the perfect place for things to land, or trying to say, um, you know, I can get the this much money. And I think that will also be if you have more than one person doing it, somebody will think that things are worth more than somebody else will think they're worth. Some people will be like, just donate it all. Some people will be like, no, we need to have uh, you know, garage sales or estate sales or whatever. And so there's gonna be have to be some uh um uh thought process through that. And honestly, the faster that you need to sell the house or move it out and make it empty, um, the the less time you have to sell things. Um estate sales are usually out a couple, you know, a month or two. They have to, you know, you have to get on their schedule and then they have to get ready for the sale and all of those things. Um but with that being said, um many times the stuff that is there is not worth tons and tons of money. And so I think people get um caught up on, well, I could we could be making money on this.

Heather Fisher 28:53

And well, I think if you um do that math too, it's hard to see because you just think I could sell this and something monetary would come in. But if you do that math of balancing the time, both your time spent getting ready for a sale or gr having a garage sale or selling items one by one on eBay or you know, Facebook marketplace, versus the the cost of taking longer to sell the home if you factor in the tax taxes and insurance and utilities and all of that. I mean, you could be out of whack losing money just by making that decision, uh, let alone probably coming pretty close to even. So um save yourself that energy and um do a great donation pickup. There are resources um where you know there's some great donation places that will take many categories of things and then it is going from there to the right resources, people who truly need it. It's not always just landing on a big warehouse floor destined for the landfill. Um, you know, you can do one big pickup to many, many great organizations uh and feel so good about that getting in the hands of people who need it.

Jodi Rosko 30:16

Yeah, I do think sometimes that feels better than getting a couple dollars for something here and there and trying to manage all of that selling.

Heather Fisher 30:24

Yeah, that management piece, you don't anticipate how much of a burden you're layering on top of other burdens. Right.

Jodi Rosko 30:33

At this time, and I think people just get attached emotionally there about like, oh, this cost a lot, you know, this used, you know, and and some of it did. I mean, I mean, there's there was a time when we spent lots of money on furniture, and you know, people would buy expensive name brand furniture, um, but that hasn't held its value, and so that's hard to let go. But I think you have to realize like you appreciated and used it and enjoyed whatever that was that cost money. Um, and so some of that money has been, you know, spent up in and used up in that enjoyment of of it.

Heather Fisher 31:06

Yeah, if you find yourself getting stuck in that concern over th whether things really have true value that you don't know, um, you know, going back to one of our very early episodes when we talked about keep the memories, lose the stuff, and um that book is so great, and he was um, you know, his advice on that was to just start a spreadsheet of those items that are kind of those maybe maybe box items of is this worthy of putting the effort into sell, and then doing a quick research of, you know, if it's a collection of something, looking to see what they're selling for on eBay or another platform, and looking at those sold prices and then making that decision quickly, like yes, this is a trade-off for the potential, and then moving that out of the house and selling it later versus just looking at the whole house and and kind of hemming and hauling over each item.

Jodi Rosko 32:05

Yeah.

Heather Fisher 32:05

I think that stuff that people are usually grateful that they save later are things like handwritten recipes, notes, you know, um voicemails, movies, you know, like home movies, yeah, uh photos, if ornaments person was um crafty quilts or um paintings or things like that, not necessarily in volume, but the memento of that was their hobby that yeah, what was their legacy and how is that represented? Um so we talk about that a lot. Um, you know, if if someone m had a hobby that they loved, you don't have to keep every item from that hobby to be able to cherish um just that legacy of oh, here is a picture of them fishing and you know, one fishing pole that I keep in the garage. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 32:58

Or also like one meaningful object that they used all the time. So maybe there's a candy dish that you remember or you know, a certain baking dish or you know, pay or something like that. Um, but something that was used often. Um that because again, stuff, the stories, you know, if if stuff isn't used, there's no stories around it. So the things that really n remind you of that person, but there you're not gonna be super excited that you kept, you know, s everything that was in the kitchen in tubs and tubs of it. Like you, you know, you don't need all of it.

Heather Fisher 33:30

Yeah, we have um uh like a mini-size spatula. I I didn't realize the story around it, and then my husband said, No, we can't do anything, we have to keep that. You know, I used to used to go to his grandma's house in the summer uh when his parents were working and spent most of his summers at her house, and he said, That was from her house. That's what we always used, and it was like my size when I was a kid, and I always used that one, and you know, so now I think of that when it's in our drawer, but we also don't have boxes and boxes um you know from her house of things. It's that one uh just memory trigger.

Jodi Rosko 34:05

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so so you're gonna clean out, you know, you're gonna just pick the things that um are legacy things and things that have lots of sentimental value um that you might be able to look through a little bit later if you're doing it quickly. Um and then the rest of it, it whether it's donation or whether it's a sale, um, it can be a quick once you've gone through all the things that people want, um, then the rest of it is kind of a quick end.

Heather Fisher 34:34

Yeah, and so w getting through this, um, keeping the momentum going without feeling like it was just a terrible process and you did it all wrong, uh, remembering that momentum matters more than perfection each day. What did you accomplish today? How much closer are you to the finish line? Um visible visible progress is what's gonna change your mindset around it. Like, oh gosh, this bedroom is now empty. Let's move on to the next one.

Jodi Rosko 35:01

I was gonna say that you can have daily goals of okay, we're gonna empty out these two rooms today. Um, and even if some of that stuff gets emptied into another room, like you said, moving it closer to the door, right, as you're moving it downstairs instead of upstairs or whatever that looks like, and then you're feeling like, okay, I don't need to go in that room again, like whew, that's done. Um, and then if you um have donations and um you're scheduling a pickup or you're doing it, you know, at the end of each day, just start getting things out if you can do that, just so that you again visually feel like, oh my gosh, the house is emptying, it feels better.

Heather Fisher 35:35

Yeah, we see that a lot when we go over to um clients' homes as they're getting to this finish line and they're like, everything's done except the garage. Don't look in the garage. That's where we still have this, this, and this piled. And so that's that thing of you know, getting the basement emptied, and maybe some of those piles live in the garage while they're in transit, and then the bedrooms, and then the main level, and you're just moving it all, and then that garage is easy to um, you know, get stuff taken away from either by donations or family hauling it away or picking it up.

Jodi Rosko 36:11

Yeah, we and we always encourage people, like sometimes in the house there's like a lot of stuff that is just junk. Like we had um tons and tons of paperwork that was so old and in the garage and you know, stuck together and not, you know, not even anything important, um, or things that were broken and just having um if you had a a junk hauler come and get some of that, we had a dumpster, but that was a whole nother thing. I would probably rather have, now that I know, have had a junk guy come and just take taken that just away. Like and it doesn't all have to, you don't have to wait until the very end for that. If you know what that is, get a haul and just get somebody to take some of it away so that again it feels like you can breathe.

Heather Fisher 36:55

Yeah, yeah. Um, having a list of room by room priorities, um, you could you could put a P, you know, tape a piece of paper to each d door, doorway. Here's what needs to happen in this room, or here's what's in here. Um, so you if you have multiple people working on things, you're not stepping on each other's toes, um, either people not knowing what needs to be done or redoing something that's already been sorted or mixing things up that are already specifically in uh the places they need to be. Um, it can become a little chaotic. So um just a little organization around what the process is so that you're not just circling.

Jodi Rosko 37:38

Well, that's what we find that people, the families who get through it the the quickest and with the least arguments and whatnot are the ones who have created enough structure that the system can work for them and like take in some of the emotion out. Because when you don't have a system, the emotion gets bigger because frustration comes in and all of that. And so if you can create a system, you get that room, you get that room, you know, whatever that is, or we're all gonna do this room until we've got it, whatever it is, then um the system will help you um the guidelines of the system will help you stay less emotional and and be able to get things done quicker.

Heather Fisher 38:14

Yeah, and the same thing we say in all of our downsizing classes, start with easier decisions. Don't say, okay, we all need to go through the photos and then nothing is happening. Um, you know, save some of that till later or a different location and just get the logistics of um the basic things done.

Jodi Rosko 38:36

Yeah, so once you're done, you're gonna feel relief. Um, you're gonna feel um, you know, that the that movement will create the clarity of what needs to happen next. But um most people remember um the the connections of you know, not the stuff, the stories. Yeah, and so tell the stories while you're doing it. Um, you know, nothing's gonna none of it's gonna go perfectly. That's okay too. It's gonna there are gonna be days that aren't so amazing, um, and that's gonna be okay, okay too. But um I think once that pressure is off, that relief feels so much better. So yeah, just walk through it, get it done.

Heather Fisher 39:13

Yeah, if there's any resources that we can help you to get through this process, um, you know, this is the time to call us and uh let us help you find those resources, um, help you get that home sold. You can connect with us for that on our website, downsizingroadmap.com backslash help. Um please reach out to us, let us know what you're having trouble with. We would love to hear from you, and we will be back next week. Talk to you later. Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration. Have questions or ideas for future episodes, reach out to us on our website, www.downsizingroadmap.com. Until next time, let's keep simplifying and moving forward.