63. Who Am I Without This House? Identity Shifts in Downsizing

Most people expect downsizing to feel like a logistics challenge. What surprises them is how much it feels like a personal one.

When you have lived in a home long enough, it becomes more than an address. It becomes the place where your roles took shape — the host, the caregiver, the neighbor, the memory keeper. The house holds routines, relationships, and a version of yourself that has been reinforced for years. When that chapter closes, it is completely normal to feel disoriented about who you are without it.

This episode is not about the practical side of moving. It is about the internal shift that happens during downsizing — and how to move through it with clarity and confidence.

Jodi and Heather walk through why identity gets tied to a home in the first place, what people fear most about leaving, and why downsizing often reveals identity rather than erases it. This conversation will help you understand what you are actually letting go of, what is worth carrying forward, and how to build a next chapter that reflects who you are now — not who you used to be.

In This Episode:

• Why our homes become so closely tied to our sense of self
• The most common house-based identities people grieve when they move
• What people are really afraid of losing when they downsize
• Why a smaller home often returns your identity to you rather than taking it away
• Five steps to redefine yourself with intention and confidence
• Seven reflection questions to help you clarify who you want to be in your next chapter

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Transcript

Jodi Rosko 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jody Roscoe and Heather Fisher. We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts. Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.

Heather Fisher 0:17

Hi, welcome to Downsizing Roadmap Podcast. Today we're talking about our house. Maybe if we've been there a long time, how that morphs into our identity and we feel like who are we if we make a move and aren't in that house?

Jodi Rosko 0:35

So Yeah, it kind of all weaves together, doesn't it?

Heather Fisher 0:38

It certainly does. So we're gonna talk about um why we feel that way and and um certainly we all do to different levels and maybe some ways to adjust that thinking. Untangle. Yeah, untangle is a great, great way to phrase that.

Jodi Rosko 0:52

Yeah.

Heather Fisher 0:53

I'm Heather Fisher.

Jodi Rosko 0:54

I'm Jody Roscoe. And and what that future can look like, because again, we always talk about, you know, sometimes the way to get out of where you are is to know where you're going. And so I think um it's very, very normal if you feel so settled in your house and you feel so um, you know, entwined in in all of the memories of it and just all the comfortableness of knowing, you know, where you've been for so long and you know how fa how long it takes to get to the grocery store and where, you know, everything is from every it's all so comfortable, um, but sometimes it's not working for you anymore. And so you have to balance that comfort um where it's really not comfortable anymore, but there's some inside level of you know, emotionally it's comfortable, but you know, physically might not be working.

Heather Fisher 1:38

Yeah, back to you know, our five-step downsizing uh method, we start with number one, dream it because that's a forward-facing.

Jodi Rosko 1:47

Yeah.

Heather Fisher 1:48

It's not um, you know, just sitting in that same spot in your in your mind or you know, physically and and not moving forward. It's really looking at what's next and how to have that be exciting and new um and and not feel like you just have to stay anchored to that one physical space for things to be okay.

Jodi Rosko 2:09

Yeah, because I think a lot of it is living in the past, to be honest. Um, you know, memories of of your kids there or relationships or you know, time that you've spent, holidays, all of those things can be very, very strong pulls to the house. Um and you know, your routines, everything that's in that that goes along with that house, you know, you you go outside and you mow, you know, whatever once a week and all of the things. And so um so it it does hold a lot of who you've been, but is that who you want to be?

Heather Fisher 2:43

Yeah, when you've lived in a house for 20 or 30 years, your brain has literally wired your your memories around those things that you see. And it's understandable that there's a little bit of anxiety to not have those reminders all around you, um, but it's always inside of you. It's never about the stuff or the place. You have those memories. If you can just take that step forward, that's all still with you.

Jodi Rosko 3:12

Right, those are all internal, not external. And I think the other thing is once you've created routines and habits and all of that stuff, those don't take a lot of mental energy anymore. Um, and so you're kind of running on that, right? Coasting. Coasting. And when you ha when you decide to make a move, then there's a lot of mental energy going into what's my new routine gonna look like or where's my new, you know, there's so what you know, where will my stuff go in that new house? Where all of the things, where's the new house even gonna be? Like where am I gonna go? And so so much mental energy has to go in that, it does start to feel exhausting sometimes. And so you want to just lean back on that easy of you know, not because you've already created those routines years ago. But the question is, are those routines serving you still? And is that who you still want to be?

Heather Fisher 4:01

Yeah, exactly. And knowing that the fastest way to the other side is through it. So you know, once you you know that that's the right ch choice to make that move and to get somewhere that for any number of reasons, location or safety or ease, um, that you're going somewhere else to get through that path, then those routines become new again and become routine, and the the exhaustion is because of all the decisions right at once.

Jodi Rosko 4:34

Yeah, it's all the new. It's all the new that takes all the brain power. So um, so why? Why does identity get tied to your house? So um, you know, there's a lot of psychology in it, right? So your home becomes your your your you know framework around you for all the things that happen, your your holidays, your childhood memories, your milestones, grief, growth, like whatever it is that's happening, um, you know, your you can look over in the corner and remember, you know, somebody maybe that's not here anymore sitting there, you know, at a holiday or whatever that looks like. Again, remember those memories are inside of you, not outside. Um, but it does trigger some memories in the house. And I think that's something that is some something to think about. And I will tell you guys, like we lived in a house um for 22 years, and um my kids grew up there, brought them home, you know, we got married and bought that house, and and so um when we left that house, it did feel like, oh my gosh, you know, are we gonna really miss it? And you know, all these memories, but I still have them, you guys. I still have all the memories. I can still picture them in the kitchen, you know, rolling out cookies for Christmas. I can picture all of that stuff. And um, so it won't go away if that's the fear, it won't go away.

Heather Fisher 5:53

Yeah, yeah. Another reason people get tied to the house is that identity of the role they have in that house. Um, so we see this often if you are the host and that was the hosting house or the garden, you know, any kind of a role, even just managing a house m that may be more than you need, that becomes your daily routine. Right. And there's a little bit of anxiety of what will I fill that space with.

Jodi Rosko 6:25

Right. Even if you're over it and you're done, you're done managing that house or gardening in that yard the way that you used to love it, and now it's just too much. Um, you know, maybe you're the memory keeper. Maybe you have all the bins of everything of everybody's and you know, you had a you had the big house or the big basement or the big, you know, storage area. And so you ended up being the memory keeper. Now, now to move, you have to go through all of that stuff and figure out what to do with all those delayed decisions or guilt that somebody else gave you or all the things that you have. And so um you're changing your you're changing your role, right? You're changing your role of who you are. Maybe you're, you know, the neighborhood king or queen. Maybe like you've lived there forever and you know everybody and you feel like, oh my gosh, that's gonna be a social loss. Like maybe there will be a loss there that you feel like, you know, I know everybody or whatever. I think a lot of times what happens is they end up moving away though, too. Like I feel like peop, you know, neighborhoods go through time turnover and and stuff. So maybe that's who you were, but maybe that's not even though you think so in your head, if you really think about it, it's not the same as it as it used to be. So um the question again is not is not that past, like I mean, you can identify what those are, but then what do you want your future roles to this is all very mindset, you know?

Heather Fisher 7:50

The way to look at that that can bring you a little bit of ease is that all of those roles are wrapped up with different traits that you identify with, not necessarily the role. So maybe you're the connector, maybe you're the teacher, maybe you're the caregiver, maybe you're the organizer, maybe you're the friend, the mentor, the creator. You know, all of those traits are why you have morphed into that role. And the traits come with you, right? Not, you know, they don't stay at the location. So I think if you look at it that way, you know, and really look at why you're feeling anxiety about giving up that role, it's what part, you know, what trait of yours flourishes most in that, and how can you find a way to use that same trait in your next spot? Um, and you know, be the teacher there or the mentor or the host. Um, it's not the physical location or exactly the same thing that you need to recreate. You just need to use that part of yourself that brought you so much joy.

Jodi Rosko 8:54

Yeah, and and how can you recreate some of that in the next place? If you're the entertainer, you know, maybe you can still do that on on a different level. Maybe there's a, you know, big community room you could entertain the family in, or maybe somebody else's house, but you still bring, you know, your favorite dishes or whatever that is, you can still the they the traditions can change because that's scary too. It feels scary when the traditions are different. And you know, we've had Christmas at our house for twenty years, thirty years, forty years, and now it's not gonna happen. We have that. Um when my grandma and mom, you know, passed away, Chris that their house was the Christmas house. And so it's very it's different, but it's okay. It's okay. Yeah. And so, you know, what does that look like? We had we had a client who had the most amazing spirit and um she had some health issues, she ended up going into um assisted living, and when she got there, she was still herself, and she went and she was she was the queen of the Eucharist. She was like she started the whole Euchre thing. Um she she she just went in going, I am gonna do all the things, and she did. And so she j you know that didn't leave her. You know, she left the house, but all of that was still there, and so she just created those wanting to entertain and all that stuff with the new people that she was around, and she c came up with ideas and recreated it, and her spirit was amazing.

Heather Fisher 10:19

Yeah, it definitely was, and I think that's the most important part is just to to trigger into which emotion you're want you're you're feeling like you're gonna miss and find it. It's everywhere, and there's so much fun and adventure ahead for whatever fits fits that need.

Jodi Rosko 10:39

Well, and I think the key is it doesn't have to look exactly like it's always looked to still be there. Right? You're you know, entertaining or gardening or whatever that is, being the connector, all of those things that you said, which I love that I love that, um, connector, friend, you know, whatever that is, you can still be all those same things in just a it just looks different, but you can still fulfill all of that inside of you in a different way. Yes. And maybe even more, to be honest. Because I think sometimes people get stuck in their house and you know, maybe get a little more isolated or maybe you know, just get a little bit overwhelmed with all the things and maybe it'll free you to to actually be more of who you are.

Heather Fisher 11:20

Yeah, they've already perhaps those things uh they've already lost that role a bit, but they're hanging on to the location, hoping that you know they haven't lost that role. And you know, just figuring out a way to to move into that role in a different way is so joy-bringing and fulfilling um and really makes life a little easier.

Jodi Rosko 11:45

Yeah. Okay, so what are people afraid of losing? So um purpose. They're afraid to lose their purpose. Um the house has been, you know, you've been responsible for it.

Heather Fisher 11:56

Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 11:56

You know, we've we've talked before about whether you w when you own something, you feel so much more responsibility for it, even if you've only owned it for five seconds. Um remember that mug story, right? Yeah. People got that mug and as soon as they got it, it was theirs, and then they were really super responsible for it. So um, you know, you felt responsible, you felt productive, you felt, you know, proud of your house, you know, you felt all of those things. Um and so letting go can feel like, oh my gosh, maybe what am I gonna do with myself now if I don't have to dust these 27 rooms? Okay, not 27, but if I don't have to dust, you know, these rooms I don't use, if I don't have to, you know, garden in all these beds that I made and thought were amazing and now I'm over it, you know.

Heather Fisher 12:37

Yeah, and we since none of us have a crystal ball, I think moving into any new situation, it's human nature to anticipate that all the worst things are gonna happen. And so until you know that known of the new, you wrap that anxiety of, well, of course it's gonna be worse.

Jodi Rosko 12:59

Right. And because, yeah, the unknown can be scary, and that's why we we say do some due diligence, figure out you know, what kind of spaces you want to be in in the future. You know, is that a smaller ranch home, just something on one level? Is it just a smaller house in general? Is it a condo? Is it, you know, a community? What where where do you think you want to go? Go look at some of them. If you need help with that, you know, let us know. We can find you somebody that we can refer you to, a great agent that can help you with that. But um po knowledge is power, right? And so um figuring out what you want that to look like on paper and what you want your identity to look like on paper, and just spending some time thinking about those things before you try to jump into really making a giant change will help you with that fear because once you know things, then the fear is so much less.

Heather Fisher 13:54

Yeah, yeah. Um other things people fear losing, they fear of losing connection. Um, that can just be worries about your distance from neighbors that you love, or um, you know, less convenience if you have family close by and you're moving somewhere further away, um, or losing being just that house that everyone comes to. The Kool-Aid House. Yeah, yeah. The Kool-Aid house that when you have kids, we all know what that is. And um if you're as old as we. Yes, for sure. For sure. The big cans of the high C punch is what I remember. Um but neighbors' routines become part of your own routines. I think I was thinking about this, and um, you know, I was in a neighborhood, a vibrant neighborhood for 20 years where I raised my kids, and uh, you know, in thinking about this episode, um, I didn't necessarily interact with all of my neighbors all the time, but you become so accustomed to their routines too that you feel it's kind of like social media. You see people's names and their posts, you feel more um connected to acquaintances than you really are. Um so you know, you see the same kids walking to the bus stop and you feel connected to that routine at the same time every day, or you know, you know, Susie next door checks the mail when she gets home and walks down the driveway, and you start to just have a whole sense of what's going on in the neighborhood. Um but rest assured you'll establish those routines with the people around you in the next place. In the next place. Yeah. And it may be more convenient to take that from just a surrounding routine to actual connection. Yeah. And finding ways to do that.

Jodi Rosko 15:45

Yeah, depending on where you land, um, you know, you might have a condo that has a clubhouse where everybody gets together and does, you know, things or whatever that looks like, you might actually have more opportunity for connection and you will have more time that you aren't spending working on the house. And so in that time, even if it's not your neighbors, you know, you can go join groups of things that you're interested in. Um if you know connection is something that is really important to you, um, and you can find people like that.

Heather Fisher 16:14

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So fear of losing history or legacy, um, that is back to something we've talked about so many times, but that that pressure of ownership and and keeping items just as proof of a life well lived, your own or someone else's, um, and and just getting over that hump of the life was still well lived without every item.

Jodi Rosko 16:41

Well, uh every item it it doesn't uh relate to your to your identity. And so that's that's another thought process. Again, there's a lot of thinking that should go into this before you start, and I think that's where everybody skips those steps and then kind of feels a little bit adrift. But um, but that what what you want your legacy to be, what you what things that you want to uh remember, what things that you want to continue on with, maybe hobbies or whatever, and what ones you can let go of now. Um and so those things are when you really get down to all the thousands of things that are in your house, not all of them are your identity, even though when you're starting it, it feels like it as a whole, like the whole house. The whole house is me. And um, but when you really look at it, it isn't.

Heather Fisher 17:28

I think that um way back to one of our very early episodes when we uh did the book review of Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff. Is that Josh Becker? Um, I think is the author. Sorry if I have that wrong. Um, but uh you know, back in that book, he was talking specifically about making an actual legacy box. And it's a great starting point before you start looking at each item one by one as you pick them up. Like, is this part of my legacy? Is this, is this, is this? That's such decision fatigue. But if you just sit you know with yourself for a few minutes and think about if I was packing that box, what things would I go gather? And you're going and selecting and you know, mentally whether you're actually putting them in a physical box. You're you're defining those categories and that gives parameters as you pick up items one by one, you've already established what the parameters of that legacy are and you can make the decision easier.

Jodi Rosko 18:35

And you don't need to keep every single thing that relates to that legacy either. So once you've decided, you know, on you know, four or five things that you feel like are are your legacy, then you m you keep one or two things for each of those things. You don't have to keep every single thing that goes with that. And if you aren't sure, ask your family what what they remember you for. You know, like what what it what is that for you? So like for for my Nana, she loved to read. She loved reading, so uh, you know, that's one of the things. Um we had happy hour at five o'clock every day. That was also one of her things. Um she drank the same drink every day, it was an old fashioned, you know. So there are certain things about her that are are her legacy, but um, but we didn't need to keep like every glass she owned, you know, like just it's just certain things that you remember or every book that she owned. Um but though but if you aren't sure what your legacy is or what your family remembers you for, my name my grandma was food. They she loved cooking, and so that was her. Um and so ask them. Because they will they will tell you. They there's definitely things that really stand out to them about you.

Heather Fisher 19:44

Well, and honestly, full circle, when you know, some of us are frustrated later thinking nobody wants any of my stuff, when you've asked that question and you know they've helped you curate that legacy, that is the stuff that they will want to keep. Right. And they won't be burdened with that whole, you know, just overwhelm of everything and trying to figure it out in a time when they might be grieving or um, you know, dealing with a time crunch. Um you've really done that together.

Jodi Rosko 20:17

Yeah. My mom loved antiques and she loved history and things like that. And so, you know, I that's not my vibe of my house, but I did keep some certain things that are old and that really remind me of her and that I love. And so that part of her legacy lives on through those few things. It doesn't have to be a lot of things.

Heather Fisher 20:36

Yeah, my dad uh collected the miniature um cast iron skillets and hundreds of them, which I do not want hundreds of them, but I I want a few because that was so much a part of what he loved to go hunt at the antique stores for and and collect. So it that makes it a legacy and a memento of someone's life um versus just a burden of too much.

Jodi Rosko 21:03

Well, because when you've shared the story together and talked about how that's the legacy together and shared those stories about it makes the thing so much more uh meaningful. Yeah. Because it's about the stories, it's not about the stuff.

Heather Fisher 21:17

Yeah, well, and and you know, I have such a memory of um, you know, years ago my dad wanted, you know, all the skillets when I was growing up, they were on the wall and stuff, but they were down in the basement and he wanted to help m my siblings and I and the grandkids uh choose a couple that they wanted to take. And I I can only imagine it was such a great day for my dad because he went in like birth order and then you got time with just him. They were all laid out and he would tell you the stories and tell you what he liked and you know, you got to choose um you know, choose a couple with him and hear those stories and you know, that's Uh you know, something we'll all treasure, and I think all of us that have a few, um, you know, love that because of that moment.

Jodi Rosko 22:07

I love that. So identity when you are downsizing and um ending up with less actually becomes more clear instead of less clear because if you have less things, then each of those things means a little bit more. And so the more you have, the less the more murky it makes everything, and the less that you, you know, actually can see what your identity or your legacy is or what you actually want to be spending some time doing. So um your identity will come become more clear without that clutter. And you'll probably realize that you really, you know, weren't attached to the stuff, you're really attached to the stuff the stories. Um and you weren't really attached to the house, you were attached to the the memories and and who you were inside of there and what people you shared it with and all of that stuff. It's not the house itself, it's just again, it's the stories that happened inside the house. Yeah. And uh, you know, you think all the all of the stories they're just they're inside of you. Yeah. Yeah.

Heather Fisher 23:09

Absolutely. I think that um you when you free that space because you've thought about things ahead of time, it makes it so much easier um to move to that next space and to choose the next space that will work for the identity you want to be instead of oh, does this have enough closet space to shove all those boxes I haven't let go of? You know, you're really choosing life and joy and what freedom of time and freedom of choice instead of choosing essentially your next storage unit.

Jodi Rosko 23:46

Yeah, and being surrounded by things that are heavy and making you feel weighed weighed down by it. And something else that happens that I think is really interesting. I was going through some stuff and I was with my daughter and I was telling her the stories of the stuff, and then I'm like, and then that goes to donate. And then I did that like four or five times, and she's like, you're cracking me up, mom. Like you're telling me all the stories about this stuff, and then you're like, but I don't want it. And I think what happens is you realize that I do know the story about it, but that story is not that important to me. Like it's not part of my legacy. So yes, I know the story and I know where it came from and I know whatever, but it's not so important to me that I need to keep that thing. And sometimes just telling that story releases it for you because you're just like, yeah, that's what happened, and I, you know, the neighbor had that and she can't, you know, get whatever, and it's just not something that's important enough for you to keep. And so it makes it easier to release it once you've told the story.

Heather Fisher 24:41

Yeah. Sometimes you have to say that story out loud or to yourself to actually realize whether you have a story or you're just kind of digging your feet.

Jodi Rosko 24:50

Yeah. So I bought that at Target and you know, like whatever. It's not really, I mean, it's a story, but it's not something that's like, oh my gosh, I need to keep that forever story.

Heather Fisher 25:00

So okay, so if we're we make that move, um now it's time to kind of redefine ourselves with the confidence of that next space and and knowing that we're gonna flourish in in that next chapter.

Jodi Rosko 25:14

Yeah, we've released all of the taking, you know, energy and the freed up a bunch of time and you know, all of that stuff. So what are we gonna redefine ourselves in now that we've been able to do that?

Heather Fisher 25:26

Yeah, so some questions that you can ask yourself as you're trying to figure out this new space is how do I want my days to feel? Where do I want my energy to go? What relationships do I want to nurture? What burdens am I ready to lay down? Um, and then start looking, you know, at those identity anchors that do come with you. What routines do you want to, you know, tweak but maybe keep somewhat the same? What values, what relationships, what sentimental but curated objects that you've brought with you, and you know, any skills or interests that you want to continue maybe in a different way, but still continue as part of your identity.

Jodi Rosko 26:13

Yeah, and don't be afraid to try th new things. Like, you know, if there's something that you've all your routines were your routines and they worked for you, and some of them will still work for you, and some of them you might have outgrown, and maybe it's time for some different routines. Um and same with things that you're doing with your time. Um now you're gonna have some more time. So so if my um my husband's dad uh was an engineer, very, very, you know, math engineer. Um, and once when he retired, he started to paint. And he painted uh lots. He went to he ended up going to you know the community center and taking classes, which he loved because he was with other people who were painting, and it was like the totally other side of his brain that he was been, you know, had not used in his whole career. And um he painted us Christmas cards. So we have I probably 12 or more Christmas cards. And last year I framed them all for Mark, and so we put out all of his Christmas cards that he had hand painted. But that was a totally new thing for him. Yeah um and something that he had always wanted to do and just never had done. So don't be afraid to step out of your routines and try something different. And he had he got so much joy from that whole different outlet that he had never had in his life.

Heather Fisher 27:34

Yeah, and we're it in a lot of the senior centers in in our community, and there's so much going on. So whatever is kind of you know, nudging in your brain of I w I wonder about this. There's a club, there's a activity, there's a class that you can you can join for sure.

Jodi Rosko 27:53

And I think always learning new things keeps you young. And so, you know, maybe it's an instrument you want to learn to play or you know, whatever. Some, you know, woodworking or I don't even know, but um think of things book club, volunteering, whatever it is, different things.

Heather Fisher 28:10

Yeah, I was at an event just on Friday with with some of our our friends at the senior center, and they were talking, they were talking amongst themselves, two of them, about didn't I see you at the um learning to speak French class? I love it. And the you know, the one responded yes, and they were talking about that. Yes, yes, and just talking about that, and and she invited the you know, the one was a little more nervous or hesitant to try it, and she was like, No, you should come. And I mean it was so fun, and yeah, you know, no, no, just serious, right?

Jodi Rosko 28:44

You don't have to take any of it seriously, it's not gonna, you know, affect like your future job, you know, whatever anything. Now it's just all fun. So if if there's something you've been wanting to do, you know, go do it. Just enjoy it. And you will meet people who also want to do that. Oh, the one that I was talking about that had that amazing spirit, loved dancing, and she's she took yeah. Yeah, she took like ballroom dancing and she was she was amazing. So um yeah, anything, like just just open your mind up a little bit about like, hey, you know, I've always liked thought about this thing. Do it, just go do it.

Heather Fisher 29:19

So as um you start getting settled into that new place, um, research on relocation stress shows that that emotional dip of you know feeling a little anxious about it is gonna show up two to six weeks after the move. So that's normal. Um that that's you know, you're on the adrenaline high of all the decisions and the moving and the unpacking, and then you're gonna feel that dip. Um, but that stabilization happens about 60 to 90 days. So if you're feeling that, if you feel unsettled at week three, you did not make the wrong choice, it's just time to double down on those new routines, those new connections, um, you know, that new feeling of this is my place, it's coming. So if you've just gone through this and you're feeling that, um, you know, stay tuned because it it just takes the a little bit of that curve of okay, we did it, and then you feel unsettled for a few weeks and then it's coming around that 60 to 90 day mark.

Jodi Rosko 30:28

And ask yourself what what are you feeling unsettled about? Is it you're not sure, you know, how to get to wherever? Go out and drive it. Just go out and go figure that out. Like, you know, if it's you you're feeling like socially you're a little bit more isolated, go join something. Like just take taking action makes all the difference.

Heather Fisher 30:46

Yeah, as simple as taking a walk and smiling at someone new and you know, taking it from there.

Jodi Rosko 30:52

Yeah, yep. So build connection, find your neighbors, find groups, you know, do kind kind of do that kind of stuff. So um you here's a little, here's a little grab a piece of paper um uh and a pencil or pen and um ask yourself these questions. It's just kind of a little reflective thought process. So um what part of me am I most afraid will disappear in this move? What part of myself do I want to bring forward more fully? If my home didn't define me at all, what would I do? What do I want this next chapter? What do I want to be known for? Or what do we want the next chapter to look like? Maybe it's travel, maybe it's, you know, being with your family more. What what is it? What does you want it to look like? What role have I outgrown? I love this one because I think we do get stuck sometimes in our um roles that we think we hang on too long.

Heather Fisher 31:52

Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 31:53

And they have actually gone and we're still uh uh identifying with it and it's not even you know there anymore. Um what role excites me now? I love this one too. Like future facing, like what what is it we're gonna do next? If my house weren't part of the equation, how would I describe myself? So uh answer some of those questions. It's this one is this is all about your mindset and thinking about what your future is gonna look like and thinking about um who you are, who you've been, who it's okay to let go of of who you've been. Maybe there's a few things that you take with it with you to remind you of that, not many. And um, and then really the exciting future that that's waiting for you.

Heather Fisher 32:37

Yeah, your identity is not the house that you live in, it's your values, your relationships, your resilience, your generosity, you know, all of those things wrapped up in you.

Jodi Rosko 32:50

Yeah.

Heather Fisher 32:50

And those go with you. Yeah, and you're always gonna be you. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yep. So hopefully this was helpful uh to just think about that mindset. Um, if you need any resources, our website, um downsizingroadmap.com, and if you'd like our free downsizing guide, um, which has a few sections uh starting to explore the mindset on downsizing our dream it section, um, you can get that also on our website, uh, downsizingroadmap.com backslash guide. Just request it there, and we'll talk to you again next week. Talk to you soon. Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration. Have questions or ideas for future episodes, reach out to us on our website, www.downsizingroadmap.com. Until next time, let's keep simplifying and moving forward.