8. Navigating Senior Living Options: Independent, Assisted, or Memory Care?

Downsizing often involves considering a move to a senior living community—but how do you know which option is right for you or a loved one?

In this episode, we break down the different types of senior living communities, from independent living to assisted living and memory care. We’ll cover what each option offers, how to assess personal needs, and the key factors to consider when making this important decision. Whether you’re planning ahead or facing a time-sensitive transition, this episode will give you the knowledge and confidence to make informed choices.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ The key differences between independent living, assisted living, memory care, and continuing care communities
✅ How to determine the right fit based on lifestyle, health, and financial factors
✅ The questions you should ask when touring senior living communities
✅ The financial considerations and payment options for different levels of care
✅ Emotional and logistical tips for making a smooth transition

Key Questions We Answer:

❓ What are the pros and cons of independent living vs. assisted living?
❓ How do I know when it’s time to consider a senior living community?
❓ What should I look for when visiting potential communities?
❓ How can I help a loved one who is hesitant about making a move?
❓ What financial planning should be done ahead of time?

Why You Should Listen:

📌 Gain clarity on senior living options to make the best decision for you or your loved one
 📌 Get expert advice on navigating the emotional and practical aspects of this transition
 📌 Learn the right questions to ask so you can feel confident in your choices
 📌 Avoid common mistakes and misconceptions about senior living communities

If you or someone you love is considering senior living, this episode will help you navigate the process with knowledge and confidence.

🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward a well-planned transition!

#SeniorLiving #Downsizing #SeniorCare #RetirementLiving #AssistedLiving #IndependentLiving #MemoryCare #SeniorHousing #AgingWell #DownsizingRoadmap

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Transcript

Jodi Rosko 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jody Roscoe and Heather Fisher. We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts. Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.

Heather Fisher 0:17

Good afternoon. Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast. I'm Heather Fisher.

Jodi Rosko 0:23

And I'm Jodi Rosko.

Heather Fisher 0:24

And we're excited today. We've got a guest with us. We're going to be talking a little bit about navigating senior living, understanding maybe the different options out there and how to choose, what questions you should ask, and maybe when to know when you're ready for different levels. So we're excited. We have Amy Ham with Bethany Village with us today. Welcome, Amy.

Jodi Rosko 0:49

Thank you. I think this is a topic we get so many questions about, and I think it just can be really overwhelming. There's just a lot of choices, and I don't think people really know a lot about it until they start to dig into it a little bit. Sure. And I think that that's what we always say. Just start looking and start finding, going to places and kind of talking to them and start seeing what's out there. Because I think sometimes people think, well, I'm not ready for that. Sure. But honestly, get ready to be ready is kind of what we're what our thought processes are.

Amy Hamm 1:25

So I think a great place to start is with friends and family. What were their experiences? Where are their loved ones? You know, are they happy? Are they satisfied? Word of mouth is probably the best way to start. And then oftentimes as you sort of narrow down what you think you're looking for, ask your physician. You can call places and set up appointments, talk through. Not all senior living, I guess, is exactly the same. There are lots of differences. Some people have multiple, some places have multiple levels of care. Some have maybe only independent living and assisted living. So you just sort of have to think through, you know, what it is that you think you ultimately want. Hopefully you have some advisors or advocates, maybe your family that could come with you and make the visits and help you ask questions and everybody hears the same thing that way.

Jodi Rosko 2:28

Well, and I think once you get started, you'll find the places that you feel comfortable after you, you know, kind of go around. Just like when you go looking for houses, right? You have to go kind of look around at the houses and then you're like, oh no, I think I need a ranch. Or oh no, I think I need, you know, like whatever, you'll find. But if you if you haven't even started, you just don't even know what you're looking for yet.

Amy Hamm 2:46

Well, I tell people I think there's a gut feeling too, where you're there and you're having a visit and the answers all sound, you know, just like what you're looking for. And yeah, I'll be comfortable here. This is this is something I'm gonna pursue a little bit more. So sometimes it's just your gut, too.

Jodi Rosko 3:02

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about you, Amy. Tell us a little bit about your background and where you're working now, and tell us a little bit about you.

Amy Hamm 3:08

I have worked at Bethany Village for 25 years. Oh gosh. So I almost don't remember anything else. Uh grew up in North Dayton. I uh attended Miami University, and Miami has a Scripps Gerontology Center. So I had a minor in gerontology and uh graduated and just looked for jobs where you could work with older people and sort of fell into a marketing and sales role. Um pretty much is what I've done really since I graduated. I enjoy it a lot. I enjoyed the the age group a lot. Um it's very rewarding to um, you know, start from ground zero with a family and you know, work all the way up to maybe actually a move-in day with someone uh and just be part of, you know, it's a it's a happy and it's also a difficult and it's uh um important transition in their lives. So it's fun to be part of it. It's a big change. It is a big change.

Jodi Rosko 4:07

It is a big change, but I think we've w with our clients, they've always been so happy once they've done it. Yeah. Um getting through it is hard. I think that's the hard part. Getting from where you are to where you need to be is the hard part.

Amy Hamm 4:20

I agree with that. I uh have a lot of people who right before they move in, they ask me all of the ways to get out of it. How can I? What happens, you know, if I don't like this? What does my out and then almost all of them then will come in and say, oh, we should have done this five or ten years ago. I don't know why we didn't.

Jodi Rosko 4:39

What made you what brought you to um this that that major in the first four Miami University is a beautiful university, first of all, but what brought you there? Like you were young and what made you feel like you wanted to do that?

Amy Hamm 4:50

Oh, um I thought I wanted to be a theater major, and my dad said, Oh, please find something where you could be for a hobby. Find something where you could be employed. So um, and it was his suggestion that um I had my own business uh house sitting for older people. Sometimes they were there, sometimes they weren't. He said, That's a population you really get along with. Why don't you sort of look into what the careers are there? So yeah, that was it. That's cool.

Jodi Rosko 5:24

I'm glad you find it rewarding. We also find it extremely rewarding. I think it's a time it's a time in people's lives when they feel overwhelmed and um need some direction, and it feels really great to be able to be like, hey, I have some answers for you. I I love I really do love that.

Heather Fisher 5:41

And just patience and and that heart for caring for people, right? You need alongside just the information, and that's what make people feel that calmness, and this is the right place when they encounter people that are truly caring about them.

Jodi Rosko 5:56

Yep.

Amy Hamm 5:57

It's a lot of patience. This is an age group. Um seniors are, you know, ladies and gentlemen, and they're grateful for everything you do, and they're kind, and um, you know, there are a lot of personal rewards for sure.

Heather Fisher 6:14

Yeah, absolutely.

Amy Hamm 6:15

Totally agree.

Heather Fisher 6:16

So when you're talking of when we're talking about senior living, that's such a broad category. So maybe we can talk about um just some different levels that are available, you know, where you are at Bethany, um the continuum of care uh type facility, and then maybe we can just break down what a few of those levels look like in general. Um I know going through personally looking for a place for my dad in the last year to go to, um, you know, sometimes it sounds like a foreign language when people are asking all of these questions and talking about what is needed and trying to figure out what we were even looking for and what level of care. It's confusing when you're not in it every day. So maybe let's start with what is continuing care. Sure.

Amy Hamm 7:14

Um typically continuing care is a service but also uh typically offered in a campus. Um, you know, Bethany has a hundred acres, there are other communities in Dayton that have a hundred or two hundred acres, so they'll have multiple levels of care on one site. Um how you determine what level of care or uh what's the best place for you on that particular site. It could happen a lot of different ways. Um maybe a physician has made a recommendation, maybe a social worker at the hospital made a recommendation, maybe your family says, hey, let's uh talk about something and check some things out. Um but uh so usually you'll find independent living, assisted living, memory care, some form of nursing care, skilled nursing, and then um rehab, usually some type of a rehabilitation program. Um you know, there I always tell people there are also uh senior rentals, which are typically apartments. They may have licensed some of their apartments for assisted living. So you could stay in the apartment even if things changed a little bit. Um and sometimes they designate some of those for memory care. Um you just probably have to I think the the best way is just to contact the community and try to understand a continuing care campus will go, you know, through end of life for someone. That's the intention. Some of the um senior apartments that might have assisted living probably don't. But you know, it's it's a crystal ball kind of thing. You not everyone necessarily needs full nursing care in their lifetime.

Heather Fisher 9:03

I think we meet a lot of people that will tell us, I'm not ready for you know, senior living, I'm fine at home. Um, but independent living, you know, offers that independence still. Um tell us what you think the biggest benefits of moving, you know, maybe from a a house situation to independent living, because you're still capable of handling things. Why would people make that choice? Yeah.

Amy Hamm 9:33

I have a lot of people say to me, why would I move into independent living when I could just buy a condo? Um so what you're what you're doing is you're um exercising, you know, you're you're starting to, I don't want to try and say, you're exercising your right to choose. You have control over choices. So you've decided to move into an independent living situation. Um typically there's uh maintenance that's taken care of for you. Sometimes there's an available meal or meal plan. Um a lot of times there's um emergency services where you might have the services of a nurse. So it's very different from staying at home or um you know buying a condo, although it should independent living should feel very independent.

Jodi Rosko 10:22

I think that that the social aspect of it is so big. Sure. Um so I really feel like sometimes, yeah, you can live in your house. Even then sometimes you can even live in the house that you have now. If you're in a two-story and that's not working, or you have a giant yard, you know, you need to pick something else, you could pick a condo, um, and that might be the right choice for you. It might be a two-step process. You're gonna pick a condo and then you're gonna move, you know, to someplace that has a little bit more help. Um, or or you know, a ranch home that's all on one floor or whatever, or you could stay in your ranch home, but you are all by yourself all day long. And so it's not that you're not capable of it, it's that you know because these are not your grandma's nursing homes, people. Like if you haven't been there in a long time, I am telling you, Heather and I have been to many, many places, and we always are kind of looking at each other like, we can love hair, like they're gonna do my laundry and you know, give me a special calendar beautiful, and then they're gonna take me places and I'm good. And so if you haven't been there in a long time and you have something in your mind that you think it is, you absolutely need to go out and um and go to some places and see what they're like because they are beautiful. And I agree. I I love go ahead.

Amy Hamm 11:38

I've met with some family members, uh, sons and daughters especially, who feel really guilty checking out senior living, and they'll say, Oh, she she made me promise I would never bring her here. But then I think you need to look around. Did you promise or not to bring her here? Right. To this very beautiful place with the gorgeous staircase and you know, a beautiful lobby. Um, I think that's probably a parent that has the old style nursing home or senior living in their mind. Yeah. Well, I we tend to find that everyone just lumps senior living into a nursing home. Right. They really don't know the differences, which is, you know, understandable.

Jodi Rosko 12:19

And I think that's why that's why they need to start early. Because i if you're gonna move to a place like Bethany, you should do that early so that you can take advantage of the beautiful, you know, a hundred acres that that you have or any any place that's similar to that and wherever you are, go take a look at those things. But but and they have don't they have like class, you have classes, you have all kinds of like things fitness center.

Amy Hamm 12:44

Yeah. Um to take advantage of. Yeah, dinners out, we have a group that goes to the Schuster Center, um, groups that go to Wright State Plays. I think any place that you check out, um, depending on how social you are, some people aren't very social and that's their choice. But if you are, really check out the calendar. Um if you want to stay active and busy.

Jodi Rosko 13:08

Well, and I think you get to pick how much how social you want to be. You don't have to do all of those things, but it's nice to have people around you and be able to have a meal.

Heather Fisher 13:16

Check on you and know you're there and worry about you. Yeah, absolutely.

Jodi Rosko 13:21

It can be the quiet social, but um, I think we found that in COVID, how how bad it was to be so isolated. Um that was really rough.

Amy Hamm 13:32

I think a lot more information about isolation and loneliness in seniors came out after COVID. And it's just sort of um something we haven't looked at very much. But um I m met with a lady the other day and she said, I didn't even realize how quiet my nights were or how lonely I was until I moved. Yeah. And there were things going on and people to visit with and someone to have coffee with. Um and you know, it was a positive change for her.

Jodi Rosko 14:01

But yeah. So when we talk, um when we do our downsizing class and we talk about the five steps that we have um of moving, uh for the first step is mindset and really thinking about what your future could look like. And I think a lot of people skip that step and don't think about, hey, what could that look like and what could that be? And I think if you go to some of these places and you see how beautiful they are and you see, you know, what kind of life they have, I think that's the other thing. They're like, that's for old people, and I don't want to go there because I'll be really old there. Right? I mean that's I hear that a lot. True. Um, and so that but they don't. They have their vibrant and they have life and it feels it feels good. And I think that they need to go, you need to go and see and check that out and and see what that feels like and how it feels. And if you're the adult kids, you need to fe see that too, because you're not like dropping your mom and dad or dad off at the nursing home. It's it is I'm telling you, Heather and I could move in sometime.

Heather Fisher 14:59

Yeah. We need to go get on that waiting list. Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about the difference if if independent living, if there's some signs of um, you know, just some things being a little harder. What's the difference between that and looking at assisted living and what considerations you know might make someone choose assisted living versus a fully independent?

Amy Hamm 15:27

Um a big driver to assisted living, honestly, is memory. Um either you realize maybe you're not as sharp as you've been, or maybe a family member or a friend or a neighbor has noticed. Um and then assisted living is going to provide all of your meals, typically housekeeping, um, usually a 24-hour nurse to assist with medications. It's sort of the um at the beginning of the healthcare part of any continuum. Um oftentimes assisted living people are still able to manage the lion's share of their day. Um but like you know, it's necessary or helpful to have someone knock on the door a few times a day. How are you doing? Do you want to come with us to do this movie night? Do you want to come down and eat with us? Um just a little bit of support, I guess. And in Ohio, um assisted living, the the assisted living licensure allows the community to kind of decide if they want to do assisted living light or a little more high acuity assisted living. So that may be a question to ask. You know, how long could I stay in assisted living?

Heather Fisher 16:43

Yeah, yeah. And I would I think you know, your physician would be making some recommendations as to what to look for.

Amy Hamm 16:53

And then um does the community do some evaluation as people are coming in as to typically, yeah, there'd be some type of evaluation or an assessment, um, looking at you know what your whole day looks like, including how do you do you know personal hygiene, how are you taking your medications? Um people with a reminder can take medications all right. Some people actually need the nurse to show up and dispense medications. So all that's considered in the evaluation. There's probably uh some type of memory questions that are part of that as well.

Jodi Rosko 17:31

How do you handle when you know you have a couple and one of them needs that um more care than another?

Amy Hamm 17:39

Um yeah, that's a tough one. But sometimes um we're able to make independent living work for that couple by utilizing home care in the um house or the apartment or whatever they've chosen. Um and sometimes that doesn't work. So um hopefully in any continuum that you'd be looking at, there would be a way to keep you close, keep couples close. But that's a that's a difficult time. Um and a lot of time I think that's probably the hardest thing that our social workers have to face is that conversation and um you know trying to find whatever the positives are. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 18:20

Well I think the positive in this is that that you can still be close. Very close. Take meals together.

Amy Hamm 18:27

For some couples, right. For some couples, um it's been a lot of years and the separation is not uh dire. But for other couples, they you know, they've got married at 19 and that's all they've known is being together. So it's a something that we take seriously and um really work with the families to try to make sure we have a good outcome. Yeah, but yeah, that's a tough time. It is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Heather Fisher 18:57

What um with memory care, I know you said um for assisted living that memory was one of the first uh uh signs of maybe needing some assisted living. What's the difference between saying we need a memory care facility versus just assisted living? Sure.

Amy Hamm 19:18

Um usually um you have a the person has a diagnosis of some type of dementia, Alzheimer's, memory loss of some kind. It's usually a primary diagnosis, which um would that's what would lead us to probably recommend a specific memory area. Um and you know, there's also an evaluation with that, so it'd be whatever came out of the evaluation.

Heather Fisher 19:45

And a memory care uh unit is typically very similar to assisted living, and then just the security of not being able to roam or yeah, tell us tell us how memory care is different than well um typically it's secure um because of the idea of wandering, um but should then have specialized programming um that allows, you know, if I can't take a walk outside, then I'm I'm feeling like I want to be really busy.

Amy Hamm 20:17

What is there to do? Um, you know, specially trained staff. Um typically a lot of um reminders and calendars and um um reminders within the room, actually. Here's today's schedule, here's what our here's when lunch is or whatever the schedule might be. Um I think you should look for and expect there's some specialized programming and training for the staff. Um you can have an area that's memory care that's licensed as assisted living, you could have one that might be licensed as a nursing home. They probably will differ in the type of person that lives there. Um so maybe check that out if there's an option of having one or the other.

Jodi Rosko 21:02

Okay, so like what questions, if I'm looking at a place that has independent care, assisted care, memory care, what questions should I be asking when I first come in to take a look at the pro at the property? What should I be asking?

Amy Hamm 21:16

I think everybody's interested in how it's uh licensed. Um and also, you know, uh fortunately or unfortunately, there's a wide range of costs in um senior living. So um that's probably one of the first questions everyone asks me, obviously, you know, what is what are your rates like? Yeah, what's that? So kind of look at that, look at what's included in the rates. That's very, very different as well. Um and I'd say you probably would want to meet with some type of representative, and I'd say that first meeting might take an hour and ask the most specific questions you can so you're getting a really good feel. Um You can also go to, if you're looking at nursing homes and assisted living, you can go to Medicare.gov and they um have a five-star system for um I said assisted living, uh nursing homes and rehab, that's what I meant. Um and they'll rate based on one to five stars. Um and Medicare is a federal program, so it's available in all states to look at and kind of compare in your area what the ratings are. They're essentially from the inspections or what we call surveys that the communities have had.

Jodi Rosko 22:31

So we haven't really talked about nursing care or rehab yet. So nursing care, um there are some things that that take you from assisted living to nursing care, right? Um specific metrics of being able to get up and take care of yourself at all.

Amy Hamm 22:49

Yeah, we probably in a nursing home setting you're gonna find that people are not getting up on their own. Yeah. Um and if and if they do, they probably need a one or two person one or two people to assist them. Yeah. Um they're likely needing help with bathing, dressing, maybe even a little bit of help in order to eat um to have their meals. So it's a pretty high level of care. Um we need um specific doctor's orders for medications, and it's the you know, nursing homes are one of the high most highly regulated industries. So there are lots of rules that we have to follow when we get to that level of care. Yeah. So um, and then rehab is just short term, yeah. Short term typically. Um we're seeing maybe two to three weeks in rehab for most people. The truth is it's probably whatever your insurance will pay for. Um which I hate. Well, that would be a different podcast. But I'd like to be there. Yes, wouldn't we all? You know, it is what it is. The insurance we we do what the insurance companies tell us. So um but yes, that typically uh is paid for by insurance. I I probably wouldn't agree to go to a rehab unit um unless my insurance was paying. It's a very expensive level of care.

Heather Fisher 24:14

And the goal is usually someone is living not in a community, something happens at home, it's a hospital stay, and then they're not quite ready for home, but the goal is that they will get that rehab and get back to home, correct?

Speaker 2 24:33

Right.

Amy Hamm 24:33

And usually those admissions come from a hospital, almost always. And um have very specific orders for your your insurance is paying for that stay because you have therapy orders typically. Um so very specific as to what the therapist should be doing. And then whenever you've reached the goals that have been set, yes, the idea is for you to go home. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 24:59

So we found that um through personal experience, yes, um, that what happens is if something happens and you end up in the hospital, uh, and then the hospital decides they've done as all that they can do for you, and it's time for you to go to rehab, it will be the uh something like this. Hey, you're doing great, and it's time for you to go to rehab, and we're gonna have you out of here in like an hour. And here is your list of places that you can go to. Which one would you like to pick? And so has some truth to it.

Amy Hamm 25:33

Yeah, yeah.

Jodi Rosko 25:34

And so we're advocating um go look at those places ahead of time. Go find out where you're gonna be. Before you need them. Yeah, before you need them, we hope you never need them. But again, it's one of those things that um that was that's panic uh uh inducing when you feel like I don't know where I'm gonna go. I don't know anything about these places. Right.

Heather Fisher 25:54

And well, and it can be um both situations. The personal experience is uh with my own family and my dad, and um we had the the situation you're referring to a few years ago where you know they said which rehab would you like to go to? And then we've had this year where um it was you know figure out where he's going to be, you know, long term, but that decision had to be made within, you know, hours, a a day and a half. Um so we're huge proponents of you don't need to feel like you're completely ready to move somewhere now, but go tour, go talk to Amy, go talk to communities around you and just know in your head, here's a great path for me if this happens, if that happens, and uh do that research because it's it's so stressful and impossible to do in the short time frame that you need, impossible to do well in the short time frame that you need if something happens.

Jodi Rosko 27:04

And and when that happens, it's falling to your kids to do it. You aren't making the choices yourself. You're you're coming from a place of of trauma or you know, a critical place where you're not sometimes able to make those decisions yourself. Your kids feel totally like a fish out of water because they don't want to put you in a place that you aren't gonna like, and they feel very, you know, it's hard, it's hard to be the adult kid in that situation and feel like I'm picking something, you know, from my parents.

Amy Hamm 27:32

It's a huge burden and it's uh so much nicer for um uh the adult children if um you know the parents have looked around a little bit. Um typically you can make an appointment and see any place that you want to see. And um I think it's great when people start early, start ahead. If you're uh 60 and you want to come and look because you're just thinking about it, that's fine. We don't we're not gonna turn anyone away. I think um people who are really good planners probably have the easiest um easiest road when it comes to that sort of thing. Um it's really hard to help somebody who's kind of operating in crisis mode. Yeah. And um, you know, my heart goes out to them, but it's um something you can prevent.

Heather Fisher 28:21

And so we want to just encourage everybody to to do those so that you're not in that stressful situation.

Amy Hamm 28:29

So places will have open houses or um, you know, a special speaker uh where you could go in and you can hear the speaker, but also look around a little bit and ask some questions. That might be a more casual way to do it. Um yeah, but just sort of know what your topic is. Sometimes you get lunch. I mean, sometimes you get lunch. Delicious lunches.

Jodi Rosko 28:49

Go have lunch and go, you know, just go look at around places. And some places, like Bethany, have waiting lists. And so um you might think, oh, I'm just gonna go to Bethany, my you know, friend whoever was there, and I'll just do that. But you can't just necessarily just do that. You need to not everywhere has that, but just know that you need to go and you know have a conversation and know what all the pieces are.

Heather Fisher 29:15

Investigate the options and investigate the financial pieces and and find that right fit early and then make the move when you're ready.

Amy Hamm 29:24

Yeah. It might not be a case of a long waiting list. It may just be that you're very specific. I need a two-bedroom with a south-facing window for my plants. I don't even know if south is good for plants, but something very specific. And that might, you know, contribute to the weight. Pets are yeah, pets depends on where you're where you're looking, but usually I think more and more places are pet friendly. There's so much research about how good our pets are for us. So yeah, you'll see a lot of that.

Jodi Rosko 29:54

Yeah. Yeah. So our goal for you guys is to just get started, get started and do some research and kind of figure out those things because gather information. You don't want to be stuck and nobody wants to make decisions out of crisis mode, like nobody. And it really will fall to your family to help you make it, and that's overwhelming to them. I'm telling you, uh, from personal experience.

Heather Fisher 30:20

Mother and I are telling you, don't do it. Yes, yes. Um we see the things that we wish would have been easier for each of us.

Jodi Rosko 30:29

Yeah, and we know now how they could have been, and it makes me crazy that it wasn't. And you know, you don't want to feel like that. So um so sometimes will you get people that come to rehab and then just can't go home?

Amy Hamm 30:42

Sometimes, yeah. We do our best to accommodate them. I think any rehab facility would. Um you know, sometimes we have space, sometimes we don't. Yeah. And that probably is true of anywhere.

Heather Fisher 30:57

Yeah. Is there any advice, your biggest piece of advice that you would give to families as they're starting to think about this?

Amy Hamm 31:07

Oh, I just think overall, as a as a family, as a whole family, start early. Start very early. Parents probably have to recognize and kids have to be brave enough to say they don't want your stuff. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 31:22

We have lots listen, y'all, there are plenty of episodes that you can listen to and there will be more coming up about what to do with your stuff and how your kids will want some things, but not all the things, and they can't take them all. Sure.

Amy Hamm 31:35

Yeah. I yes, I have a lot of experience uh seeing that as well. There's just um, you know, a lot of people count on the things that they find that that that they find to be a treasure, that their kids will feel the same way and they just don't. Um well sometimes they do, but not always.

Jodi Rosko 31:54

Well, it's all just stuff unless there's stories around it. And so um so it's really about the stories. Sure. And some stuff has your own story as as the senior, your own stories um that don't really resonate with your kids as much. Some of them have stories that resonate with both of you. And some of them, some of the stuff has has your kids have stories around that stuff that you don't even know what those stories are. And so you so just let them decide and then don't be upset about what they take. And it may not be the most expensive thing that they're taking. It may just be the thing that ri reminds me them of their childhood with you or something about the essence of you, which is really what they want. Sure. Um, versus your most expensive this that they don't like because it doesn't fit in their decor, and you know and I think people who believe certain things have value, those things may or may not have value.

Amy Hamm 32:51

Your large collections or the National Geographics that have stock you know, stacked up in the basement may or may not have value. And maybe while you're checking out everything else, figure out some of those things too. But I just I think make your visits, um start early while everything is going well. That's the best time to start.

Jodi Rosko 33:11

And I think when everything's going well, people are like, I don't need that. And it's not about needing it right now. Like I think that we can't say that enough times. Like it's just about getting ready to what what could that next step look like, right? And because when you need it is definitely not when you want to be looking at starting at square one, yeah.

Amy Hamm 33:33

So yeah, you just want to be well, and maybe friends and family could offer supportive statements. I have a lot of people tell me, my kids don't want me to come. My kids, they think, what are you doing that for? Maybe that's maybe we should change that conversation into something a lot more positive and encouraging because it really will benefit friends and family if you kind of have a plan.

Heather Fisher 33:56

I think if there are adult kids out here listening, um my advice would be make sure you go on those tours and and hopefully your parents invite you to go as well, but go on those tours and see for yourself. Um, you know, an honor when if if your parents are saying we're ready to consider this, definitely don't fight that because it waiting too long is is not the right choice.

Jodi Rosko 34:26

And it'll be hard on you later, even if you don't know it.

Heather Fisher 34:29

Yeah, be supportive of that and and and do that. And if it's the other way around, um, you know, have a little grace and patience in those conversations. If you're the one thinking your parents need something different and they're struggling to make that decision decision, um, you know, offer to go to lunch with them at one of the lunch and learns that someone offers or take a tour or uh you know, do that and then take them out to lunch and and make it enjoyable and not a stressful, you know, family argument.

Jodi Rosko 35:02

Yeah, I think we've seen it both ways. We've seen it where the kids are like, mom, you need to go, like you need to go here. And their mom's like, ooh. And and anyone, and anyone doesn't want to be told what to do. So if it's just like, hey, this place is having a lunch, let's go take a look at it. That's a little less, you know, than mom, I'm gonna, you know, when we're moving in the next week. But we have also definitely seen the adult kids that are like, Mom, you can't like do that. You can't sell our house. Like we grew up in that house, and you know, they're pushing back in the other way. But it's not them living every day in a house that isn't working for them anymore, and they're just feeling, you know, that fear of change and that, you know, not wanting to address the fact of what might you know be coming down the line. Yeah. Um, but that's unfair. It's unfair both ways. It's unfair when the parents won't do what they need to do for the kids, and it's unfair when the kids won't let the parents do the things that they need to do. So everybody just has to like be supportive. Yeah. Change, yeah, be supportive. And change is is hard um to accept sometimes, but if we embrace it, it makes it so much easier. It's when we push against it that it causes us pain.

Heather Fisher 36:12

And then when you go through change with informed decisions that you chose, change is a lot easier.

Jodi Rosko 36:19

Yeah, and exciting even. Yeah. That's why we talk about that mindset in the beginning is what could that look like? I mean, I'm at this campus and I am having coffee with whoever, and we're all going to the theater together, and you know, sometimes I can hang out by myself and that's okay. Like there's just so many options, and it could be so fun, and it gives you all the time to travel and the time to go spend more time with your family or whatever that is, and you're not, you know, mowing the lawn and dusting stuff that you don't use anymore. Very definitely, right, right. Right. Yeah. So think about what that could look like and start there and then get excited about it. And I'm telling you, these places are beautiful. They're beautiful places.

Amy Hamm 36:58

You have to look around a little bit. There's and particularly in our South Dayton area, there's some really beautiful places. Um, probably in most cities. Yeah. Um, you know, senior age group is increasing in numbers, and there are a lot of big, beautiful, newly built places to to look at.

Jodi Rosko 37:19

Well, and I think that that it uh seniors are very vibrant, like you know, and want to be vibrant and the and senior living is vibrant, and so again, it's not what it used to be. I totally agree.

Heather Fisher 37:31

Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Awesome. Well, uh we appreciate your insight today, Amy. I know um that this will help a lot of people that are just starting to navigate, you know, knowing whether this is the right thing to consider, and as we always want people to do, start thinking about it early. And we appreciate having you here today and and thank you for your time. Yeah, we appreciate it. Thanks for having me.

Jodi Rosko 37:54

Yes, of course. Thanks for listening, everybody. If you have questions, um let us know, and we'll talk to you next time.

Heather Fisher 38:00

Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration. Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Reach out to us on our website, www.downsizingroadmap.com. Until next time, let's keep simplifying and moving forward.