5. The Mindset Shift You Need Before Downsizing

Downsizing isn’t just about clearing out a house—it’s about navigating the emotions that come with it. The fear of change, the weight of memories, and the uncertainty of what comes next can make the process overwhelming. But what if downsizing wasn’t about loss, but about making space for something new?

In this episode, we explore:

• Why downsizing feels so emotional and how to work through it
• The fears that hold people back—regret, uncertainty, and loss of identity
• How to reframe downsizing as a step toward freedom, not just an end to something familiar
• The deep emotional connections to memories and how to preserve them without feeling stuck
• How to manage feelings of sadness, anxiety, and stress while making this transition

Key Questions We Answer:

• Why does downsizing feel so overwhelming?
• How can you navigate the grief and loss that often come with it?
• What can you do when fear of the unknown keeps you from making a move?
• How do you create a vision for your future that makes downsizing feel exciting instead of scary?
• What are small mindset shifts that can make a big difference?

Takeaways from this episode:

• Downsizing is an emotional journey, and it’s okay to feel conflicted
• Letting go doesn’t mean losing the memories or the meaning behind them
• A new chapter can bring more joy, freedom, and energy than you ever expected

If you or a loved one are struggling with the emotions of downsizing, this episode will help you shift your mindset and move forward with confidence.

Listen now to start seeing downsizing in a new way.

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Transcript

Jodi Rosko 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jodi Roscoe and Heather Fisher. We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts. Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time. Welcome to our fifth episode of Downsizing Roadmap. I am Jodie Roscoe. I'm Heather Fisher. And today we are going to talk about the mindset of downsizing.

Heather Fisher 0:29

Hmm. Probably the most important topic and the hardest. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 0:36

Yeah, we do, we just have a lot of stories about that and and people really just kind of struggling with a negative mindset around it. And and a lot of that comes from overwhelm. And so overwhelm turns into, you know, or overwhelm comes from fear. You know, all of that overwhelm comes from a little bit of some negative connotation things that we, you know, hear from people.

Heather Fisher 0:58

Yeah. I think we made a a little list of some words that we think of that we find people tell us their feelings. Um, I don't know, should we go through just let's talk about the the list? We'll read the words and then revisit. But people talk about downsizing and their emotion around it is loss, fear of the unknown, not ready to become a senior, and and face that that's the stage they're at. Um anxiety, sadness, tiredness. That's a big one. Yeah. Yes, that's the more proper word. Um, stress, grief, that's a hard one. A lot of times there's grief involved and depression. Yeah. Which we don't want people to get to that point.

Jodi Rosko 1:47

No, no. I think again, when we well the purpose of our website or I mean our podcast, we hope, is that you all um just start getting ready early and not from a place of crisis. And I think a lot of times when we're dealing with people who are feeling that um depression and anxiety and all of that, um grief is a big reason for that. It's because they waited and you know now they might be alone and so um they feel they feel isolated and they feel overwhelmed and they feel sad, and so there's a lot of that. So we ho we're hoping that you um don't get to a place where you're coming from a place of crisis, because it's really hard to make good decisions from that place.

Heather Fisher 2:33

It absolutely is, and grief is a hard emotion and overwhelm is a hard emotion. So if you can do the two at different times, it's slightly easier. If you can, you know, in those times of grief that we all go through, if you're already prepared on the decision front for things, then you can just go through the grief and you know, be prepared and and be living that that great life that um it works for the phase that you're in, yeah, and not have that layered on because you planned ahead.

Jodi Rosko 3:11

Yeah, I mean I feel like I had that. We I ended up um having to go through my mom's house, that was also my grandma's house, um, and there was just so much stuff, and I had the grief. And so I was in that place, and I just want to keep everybody away from that place because that wasn't a great place. It was hard and it took way longer than it should have taken, um, because of my overwhelm and not wanting to go over there and feel the grief and deal with it all at the same time. So, um, so what our goal then would be to try to have um us change those words in your mindset, have you changed those words from loss and fear and and all of that to gain, um, you know, embrace the unknown. I know there, you know, unknown can be scary, but it can also be exciting. So, and that's really in just the f how you're framing it, you know.

Heather Fisher 4:09

And I think that you it's not as unknown if you have a a plan and a dream, right? Then it's known what what you're headed towards. And it takes a little bit of that out. So you embrace that.

Jodi Rosko 4:26

Right. Um, so some words that we would like to r change those into is you know, freedom, joy, happiness, energy. So how you replace that I think how how do you do that? I guess that's the question. Like, how are you going to replace those that those words? So I think um gain, I think when you start thinking about what your life could look like in the future, if you spend some time thinking about what that looks like, what could those gains be? I mean, those gains could be um they could be family time, they could be um less time cleaning or mowing your lawn, you know, they could be um travel. There's so many they could be social, you could be in a place that has, you know, more friends. They could be warmth, because I'm just telling you right here, we're in Dayton, Ohio today, and it is very, very cold and icy, and um warmth might be nice, you know. Maybe you're gonna relocate to a place that's warmer. And you know, that's what you need. But um, what are your gains? What are gains gonna look like for you? And um kind of we we talk about this all the time, be dreamy about what that looks like, embrace the unknown. You're not in control anyway. I think that is one of the things that I really learned um when my mom and grandma both passed away together and you know the same year, is that I don't have control over any any of it. No, and so none of us gets to choose we can do our best to say, hey, this is what I want my life to look like, and kind of let that I think you know, when you the more you try to control it, the more pain you're gonna feel around it. And so I think that's what's happening when people are feeling negative about it. They're trying to control things that they can't control too. And so let that go and embrace that unknown and what could that look like. I think I don't think we spend a lot of time thinking about what our future could look like. I think sometimes we just spend our days doing our thing and not really looking at what that looks like in the future.

Heather Fisher 6:26

I think, you know, we both have college-age daughters, new college-age daughters, and you know, it gosh, if we spent the time that we spend at that phase in life, you know, we did the college tours, we did the conversations about, well, what, you know, amenities does this have, what benefits, what classes, you know, what degree are you going for? What does life look like after? Where are you going to live? What room, what building, you know, all of those things, if we applied that same process later in life, it's like we stop doing that as you know, people. We do it so much when we're planning those early stages. And I just feel like we shouldn't stop doing that. We all of those same steps that we've both just gone through, you know, just translated, go tour communities, tour homes, go look at what you know you need most and what each place has to offer, the pros and cons, and make those decisions and the plan and look at that financial picture picture.

Jodi Rosko 7:37

Right. Um Yeah, there's a lot of pieces to it, and and uh and you're gonna feel I think part of depression and overwhelm is not just not knowing what's happening next. And so if we're not gonna plan it, but we're not gonna know, we're gonna just be stuck in that spiral of, you know, feeling overwhelmed and depressed about it. Um and I have heard um people, a senior say to me, um, well, you know, I just don't have that long left. And so I it's hard for me to plan, you know, let when we're talking about our girls who have their whole lives ahead of them, we think. We don't actually know. We hope so, but um, but we don't ever and none of us know what's gonna happen. And people, you know, will say, Well, you know, it's hard to get excited about that because I just don't have that much time left. And I feel like I I hear you, but I also think every day is a gift for all of us, no matter how old we are, and we need to live it and we need to live it to its best.

Heather Fisher 8:40

Uh you know, and Yeah, if you can improve the the quality and the stress level of however many days any of us have, right, that's always a good thing. So I don't think we should stop dreaming and planning and remember anything is possible, any kind of change is possible for the positive.

Jodi Rosko 9:01

Yeah. We were at a um downsizing class that we were giving today, and we were do we were partnering with another um uh resource that does senior living, um, but but she had a slide and it said that the oldest living person right now is 119. So you might not think you're gonna live you know that much longer, but you just never know. You really don't know.

Heather Fisher 9:25

Thank goodness I'm not really middle-aged yet. Was my thought.

Jodi Rosko 9:30

Wow. And also I'm like I'm like, do I want to live 219? But I it really depends on what your life looks like. And so make your life look like something, you know, that you want to live. I guess that's what I want, you know, make sh make make it look like that. Um my nana, she played golf, you know, every day, all the way up, you know, really pretty close to up to when to when she passed away.

Heather Fisher 9:51

She was still doing all the things and she was such a great um I I had I didn't have the opportunity to meet her, but from all of your stories, I think the word embrace like fully describes her. She embraced her life and she did all the things the golf and the happy hour and the friends and the community and yeah um all of that. And so that had to have contributed to her being so vibrant for so long.

Jodi Rosko 10:21

Yeah. Um I have a fantastic example of that, and no, I know maybe not everybody does, but and we've met some amazing people. Um Linda was amazing, um, her spirit was amazing, and she kept that, you know, fun, loving spirit all the way until the end, and I I just loved her, and you know, she knew she didn't have a lot of time left even when we were talking to her, and she was still out there doing all the things and joining the committees and you know, taking charge of her life instead of letting life happen to her.

Heather Fisher 10:54

She was full force taking charge of every day.

Jodi Rosko 10:58

I loved, I loved that about her. So it's possible. Um, it's just a it's just a mindset. And so that's I think what we're trying to get at today is what is your mindset and whatever it is, if it's not what you want it to be, you can change it because you're in control of that, which is yeah good good news.

Heather Fisher 11:16

Yeah, that's good news. We can't we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we feel about it, react to it.

Jodi Rosko 11:24

So Yeah. I think um we I talk a lot about uh stuff being heavy, and I think when you're surrounded by a lot of heavy stuff, that also brings on um low energy, kind of ugh, you're just feeling like everything around you is heavy, even though it's familiar, you know, it's still heavy. And so that's one way I think we watch people as they go through this process. Um, they just get lighter and more free um without as without so much stuff.

Heather Fisher 11:55

So I think the weight of procrastinating on something, the emotional weight of procrastinating and knowing you should m make progress on something and you're not is more exhausting than actually doing a little piece of it.

Jodi Rosko 12:12

Right, sitting there on the couch, not doing it, thinking, I know I need to do this, I know I need to do this, and not doing it.

Heather Fisher 12:19

That is that is very exhausting. It is. You're not doing anything, and that is more exhausting because your your brain's doing some mental gymnastics around avoiding and procrastination.

Jodi Rosko 12:32

Yep. So I the idea is change those words um into gain, embrace, the unknown, freedom, joy, happiness, energy, maybe relationships, maybe you'll know you'll have m time to make, you know, more time with your family in relationships like that. Or maybe it's new friends, new people that you meet, maybe it's a new location, so you're gonna meet all kinds of new people. Um so what could those what could that look like? So create that vision that you want to live day-to-day, you know, doesn't have to be a long-term vision, it can just be your day-to-day life. What does it look like?

Heather Fisher 13:07

Yeah, absolutely. We say a lot that stuff is just stuff, and maybe there's some a few reasons why um, you know, it's not just stuff is not just stuff. And so let's talk a little bit about that because I think the end goal um is to get to the point where you feel a little more like it's just the stuff. Yeah, I think understanding.

Jodi Rosko 13:30

Stuff can have really, really strong emotional attachments. And um it's really, even though it seems like it's the stuff, it's really the story behind the stuff or the memory of the person or the memory of you doing something that you loved. Um you know, the memories and the stories around that is really what's uh carries the value, not the stuff. Yeah. Um, but sometimes it's really, really hard to distinguish between those two things. And some and I sometimes it feels like, oh my gosh, if I let this stuff go, I'll never remember those memories again because it brings out the memory for you. So um some things that you can do around that to fix that um are write down your stories. Um, take pictures of the stuff and write down your stories. You could create a um a little scrapbook or some kind of a memory book. Um I've heard of people creating websites that have their, you know, family stories on them with pictures and stories and all of that. Um there's books that you can write.

Heather Fisher 14:43

There's a lot of books you can buy with, you know, prompt questions and um get you started on your stories if a blank page is intimidating to you, but it can be just as simple as a notebook and you know, your handwriting and journaling about the things that you remember and you want other people to remember about you, um putting that along with a photo if it's around the stuff. Um, a few key pictures with a story goes so much further than a box of um, you know, photos that no one's sure what they were from, where they were, who the people are. Um you know, you could really tell the story around it and make that a very treasured part of your family.

Jodi Rosko 15:31

Yeah, because I think that's what your family wants. They want to know your stories. I mean, I know that's what I want, um, you know, is just to know the stories of of my parents and grandparents that I can share with my kids and their kids and tell them about who they were and what their legacy was. And so if there's certain special things that you want to keep that really remind you of who that person was, that's okay. Keep those things. But not a ton of them. Um, you know, you don't need a ton of them. When when you find the right thing that is super special, that's enough. Like that is the essence of what they are.

Heather Fisher 16:09

I think a a value that I learned um, you know, through one of the the companies that will do a book with the prompt questions, um, my mom did that. And I think what we forget, I've I've said this before, but you know, I I know my mom uh for the last you know 30 years of being an adult, more on the you know, how are the kids doing, where are we going, what time are you coming for dinner, what time are you leaving? And we rarely get to know our parents for the people that they are outside of those family events and how they revolve around, you know, yourself and your k your kids, their grandkids, and all the logistics of things. And so those journal answers that she wrote in the book gave me such a perspective on um, you know, her as a person before I was born, and you know, her family dynamics from her view, or um, you know, stories of her and and my dad that were from her perspective, not my little kid perspective, looking at them that way, or um, you know, her view of vacations that we took as a family, and it's um things you don't think to ask your family members and really get to know them as the person that made them into the person they are now. We get into a lot of family situations where we're close, but it's in the getting together and the food and the logistics and the the games that we play or whatever. Um, and so it's really an opportunity to um not only process through those memories of yourself and think back on your favorite parts of your life, but share that um so those stories aren't lost later on if you're not able, you know, here to share them or able to share them.

Jodi Rosko 18:08

I love what you said about like the vacation and her memories of it versus your memories of it.

Heather Fisher 18:13

Like, yeah, I was a kid. I, you know, had a fully different perspective than my parents did. And um, you know, I love that that we'll have that in that book that she put together and the stories of how she viewed her childhood. You know, I know my grandparents from my perspective, um, but not from all the years where they were growing up as a family. So um really great, and um, I would recommend that for anybody to share their story in that way.

Jodi Rosko 18:48

That's awesome. Yeah. Excuse me. Um, so emotional attachment's one thing. Um, fear of regret, like worrying about um needing an item after it's gone.

Heather Fisher 19:02

Yeah, I mean, i i i we all spend money on things we need them in the moment or we don't need them uh in the moment, but we all have so many things that we have spent our money on that we just don't need. They might still have life in them, hobbies that we thought we would love, that we didn't, and you know, crafting things and too many, you know, outfits that we thought we would wear and we didn't. And I think that um that's even a little bit easier than the mementos if you can just give yourself permission to know you spent the money, you got whatever life is going to be coming from you out of that item, let someone else use it. There is no guilt in that. The money is is gone and spent. Um, you know, if it's something you can get money back on, certainly do that. But um, you know, we learned a lot from the Matt Paxton book. It's almost better to think about where you can donate or give something before you're thinking about about selling it.

Jodi Rosko 20:18

Right. And um I think uh what people find that we've talked to, and what I've even found as I've created boxes of things to donate, is that six months down the road I don't even know what was in the box. Like I genuinely uh don't miss it. And if it's something that I really did miss, I think you can potentially just go buy it again. Unless it's you know something super expensive, but don't keep things because they were expensive and now you don't use them. That's again a place where you want to give it away. If it's if you haven't used it in uh I think six months, Matt Paxton was saying one month. Yeah.

Heather Fisher 20:57

One month. Yeah. And w what uh one of our um friends and and listeners was telling us after listening to our 80-20 rule, what was it, the um $20?

Jodi Rosko 21:11

If things, if something is uh less than $20, or you can get get it within 20 minutes and we can get everything from Amazon almost.

Heather Fisher 21:19

It feels like 20 minutes sometimes.

Jodi Rosko 21:21

20 minute drive, he was saying, but if it's less than 20 minutes away, don't even give it a second thought. Yeah. So Because likely don't think, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be buying things things all over again. Like likely you just aren't. You just think that you are. You know, I have an ice cream maker, I don't ever use it. I need to let it go. Somebody might love making ice cream.

Heather Fisher 21:42

Um you've told me before about your your grandpa saving the cords. Yeah. Not even usable at that point.

Jodi Rosko 21:53

That's that is, you know, that generation of people who um went through the depression. um or whose parents did even sometimes because that thought process gets you know sent down to the kids but he he kept everything because he thought he he came from a place where he did not have yeah right and so that fear of not having again um made him cut every every appliance he would cut the cord off of it and so if you went out to the garage to try to get an extension cord you'd be like oh there's a plug and you'd pull it and there'd be nothing at the other end. No other end. Yes. And so um so it so I understand that's a place of trauma honestly of not having and then thinking that you're never going to have again and so that's something that you have to work yourself through to know that you're gonna be okay and that's where we're at. And to know you know uh with everything back to the 80-20 rule you don't have to get rid of everything but there will likely never be a time you know in that instance where suddenly you needed 40 more chords all at once or you know I think that the overwhelm comes from too much that we will never need all of the the things that we've stored up at one time that we couldn't so if you have to buy one or two things again because you're like oh I got I got a little extra that extra excited that day and got rid of too many things if you have to get rid you know buy one or two things that's not gonna be uh you know a huge expense of of whatever so um worrying about making like an irreversible decision it's not you know you're gonna especially in this day with Amazon and the the convenience of so many stores right away you know close to us m there's very little decisions on getting rid of stuff that are irreversible that can really clear such a huge bulk of things. Yeah I I think the other thing that was in that Matt Pax book he was talking about what ifing that he was what ifing himself to death you know what if what if this? What if what if I need it? What if what if somebody else needs it? What if you know and and so you can do that and that's just a form of procrastination honestly of just not making that decision and worrying about what's going to happen.

Heather Fisher 24:27

So um so getting through that it can you know you just have to trust the process and and let it go and decide the answer to that what if question is well what if I need that then I will buy another one.

Jodi Rosko 24:41

Yeah right right yeah so um another one is you know feeling overwhelmed just we've we get that all the time feeling overwhelmed um and the way to to combat that is to just do small things at a time. You know just do a little bit at a time and do it on a very consistent basis um and just make that a habit that you're just doing it over and over again.

Heather Fisher 25:05

And that can just get that ball rolling and and start with the easy things things that aren't going to to make it feel quite as overwhelming. So start with kitchen drawers or um you know junk drawers, garages those places where you can make some progress without emotionally um exhausting yourself and those winds will carry you through the harder things because you'll already know that feel feeling of I feel lighter it was okay.

Jodi Rosko 25:41

Yeah yeah like every time I clean my junk drawer after and then I pull it open I'm like oh this looks I'm so much better. You know and so any area you can get that you know celebrate that win even if it's a little one go yeah it looks great you know get yourself excited and then you want another one and then you want another one and you you know it feels good to have those wins. Yeah and celebrate them. So sense of loss sometimes people feel um you know downsizing co can can go with major life transitions. You're retiring you know your your kids have left its empty nesting time we we know that one it's um maybe somebody you've lost a loved one and so um that sense of loss you know kind of surrounds it and so um maybe instead of saying um I'm losing this you know whatever uh you can say you know I'm making room for whatever is coming next. Yeah. Right? And so it's a it's a hard shift sometimes but it can be exciting. Again change can be it changes just change. It's not good or bad. It's how you wrap your mind around what that looks like. And so you can decide that the change is going to be a good change and um you might even have to lie to yourself a little bit for a little while even if because you're not feeling it inside um that it's good you're feeling it's not but if you keep telling yourself that it is and looking for ways that it is then it will be.

Heather Fisher 27:08

Yeah and I think when it's a a a plan when you're embracing that as your plan then it when it coincides with um you know those life changes that are a sense of loss if it was already the plan then it still is the something you're excited about. You know we meet clients that are excited for their last kid to get out of high school and have that emptiness because they know that they're then going to somewhere warmer or you know going to somewhere more manageable. So if you've already made that plan and you're not waiting for the event to happen to you, you've decided you know in five years we're going here or you know at this age we're gonna consider a condo instead of our you know family home and you're planning ahead for it it can make it not so much a sense of loss as a reaction to something that's happened but a plan that's a result of getting to that milestone or that event, you know and an exciting plan, like something that you want that you want to do. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 28:21

Yeah absolutely so um so if you you know there's a phenomenon that you um have an attachment to things that you already look like own. And so one of the good questions that when you have something is would I buy this again? Yeah. Because just because you own it gives you makes you more you like it more. It's just some weird thing because it's already in your house. And that's why when you get rid of a lot of things that especially then things that are not things that you use every day, you don't even know what they were because you you only were attached to them once you looked at them again before you put them in the box and thought oh I might need this. But you haven't needed it for a very long time and just seeing it because it's in your place in your you think you're attached to it.

Heather Fisher 29:13

You know back to you know other phases of life that's like the number one parenting rule like don't clean out the toy room with the kids there. Right watching because then every toy is their favorite toy right at that moment because it's there. But if you perfect example pack it up and put it in a box and and move it out of the house um they're not gonna even remember I mean odds are they would not know. I feel like for all of our houses if someone else came in and boxed up four or five things that you know they know I don't use I probably it would probably take me months to notice. Yeah. Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 29:54

Yeah and even if you did that for your kids, you know there might be one thing in that box that they're like hey where's the whatever one thing you know if you put those boxes away for six months and you know if they didn't ask for it it's gone. But that's the same for us. Um we cleaned out my kitchen before we moved during COVID and I think I had 13 or 14 boxes of stuff. And I literally can't tell you one single thing that's in those boxes. I don't even know. Like they were the tops of the kitchen cabinet you know the backs of the kitchen cabinets yeah stuff just gets hidden back there.

Heather Fisher 30:31

And it and it just becomes you're not really seeing your own house. It's there and it feels like it's comforting but you don't really even know what's there. My husband told me around Christmas this this past year that the year before uh he just put my Christmas gift on the bookshelf and I would say I love books. My my books are one of my favorite things. I do but my bookshelf is there full of all the books I love and he just put it unwrapped in among the books and the whole you know however many months till Christmas came before he wrapped it I had no idea because I don't actually they're just there so if someone took 20 books off of it I wouldn't notice. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.

Jodi Rosko 31:21

So um ask yourself questions like um is keeping this thing more important than building a new life or is this something that I really want or do I just feel guilty about keeping it you know not keeping it of do I feel guilty about letting it go? Guilt's a big deal. So um you gotta just let the guilt go.

Heather Fisher 31:42

Yeah.

Jodi Rosko 31:42

Yeah.

Heather Fisher 31:43

I think that's hardest when you're dealing with um some you know the loss of someone else not from your household a parent or a family member and you're tasked with their whole house of belongings. And I think there's such a a guilt that people will I mean we've seen they take so much to their own houses because that guilt of giving away but they're not honoring the the legacy that they want to remember about the person. They're just feeling guilty. Yeah. And so twofold number one if you're if that's what you're dealing with then don't feel guilty. Find ways to honor that legacy and and honor those things that will remind you of the person daily. And if you're you know trying to do this for yourself and doing it ahead of time don't leave that that burden of not defining what those important things are. I think you've said in our class before you know if you go buy a a table at Target next week do your great great grandkids need to love you know a $20 table front side table from Target because you bought it one day? So we look at things that are older from other generations of our family and think oh they're antiques but it's only because they're those things are older not because they have a story that you love or you love the item or or they're the essence of that person.

Jodi Rosko 33:30

Like that table from Target I just bought because I needed a table that day like it's not who I am right and so like you really just want to be keeping the things that really remind you of them and something that like they played an instrument or you know or whatever that is like they cooked or they whatever it is that that person did, that's what you want to keep that essence of they collected vinyl records or you know so you keep the best five of them. I don't know. Whatever that is that m really reminds you of core memories of them which isn't going to be the table from target you know unless unless it is for some reason that if you sat at it every day of course whatever of course but unlikely like it's you want to just be keeping things that are really them.

Heather Fisher 34:18

Yeah not the day-to-day things that they just went to buy out of necessity that became their whole package of their life's belongings there's no reason to hold all of those at the same level of importance.

Jodi Rosko 34:33

Right. And I find that with antiques especially people number one think they have a ton of value which unfortunately right now they don't not say that market won't ever change but right now they don't and they used to so they think that they still have a ton of value but they don't love it and they don't like the style of it and it doesn't fit their house but they feel guilty so then they want to keep it so then they put it in their house and every time they walk by it they go Yeah I gotta keep that but it's not but are those the hobby lobby items of today?

Heather Fisher 35:01

Maybe you know that those would Right they weren't even they're just our grandparents are and great great grandparents are somewhere laughing that we are why are they keeping that dresser? Yeah just the the things that were just the day to day and if you use it and you love it, fantastic.

Jodi Rosko 35:20

Keep it yeah that's that's the thing it has to be used and loved and you you know not because you feel guilty not because you feel guilty. Yeah so and you have to and you have to remember you know you're not losing the memories of the time that you spent with those people it's just the stuff you it's just the physical stuff. If you need to take a picture of it and write the story you know do that but you're not losing the memories by letting go of the thing. The memories are inside of you.

Heather Fisher 35:49

Right.

Jodi Rosko 35:50

The thing is is outside of you the memories are inside of you. So that that is important.

Heather Fisher 35:56

So I think that that is an exercise I think we heard it along the way somewhere but I mean you can even pick up an item that's you know you're happy you're struggling with what story would I tell about this? Right. And if there's not a story it can go it can probably go.

Jodi Rosko 36:13

Yeah because like I don't have any story about any of the spatulas in my in my kitchen or the pots and pans.

Heather Fisher 36:19

No stories in my garage things like that. So you know don't get stuck really think about it.

Jodi Rosko 36:26

So the idea is you know turn it into a positive experience. So I think that we just need to focus on the benefits of um what it's going to look like less clutter it just always feels better. There's not a single person that we have gone through this journey with and has said you know I wish I had all my clutter back all around me. Even even if they're not downsizing even if we just have gone to their house and said these are this is what you need to declutter for pictures because we're going to sell your house and then we come back for the pictures and like why don't I live like this all the time?

Heather Fisher 37:04

Oh my god so much.

Jodi Rosko 37:06

So much yeah so it even if you know all you're doing is you know you're staying in place but just let that stuff go so that you can breathe and I promise it'll just it'll feel amazing. So focus on those benefits either of moving to a new situation or just having freer space. Yeah yeah um practice gratitude um you know be thankful for the memories that you have um for the people that have been in your life for um those items that you keep and make remind you of the people and those items that you will let go and have somebody else have a great experience with those items now. So um it's really hard to be sad when you're being gr grateful.

Heather Fisher 37:50

That's true.

Jodi Rosko 37:50

Yeah such wise words yeah it's very hard to be sad when you're being grateful. So donate with a purpose and we have a great list of donation people and we will continue to add um to that on our website downsizingroadmap.com but um when you know it's going somewhere that's really gonna help somebody or um you know specifically if you if you have hobbies and they go to you know another hobby group that's doing those things or if you have trains and they go to some you know a train group that loves them or if you find places that are are fantastic and they're gonna love them it's so much easier to let them go. Or if you give them to people who are in your life that are going to love them. So not a guilt's not a gift so not because they you have to because they really want that thing. That feels good when you donate or give with with a purpose.

Heather Fisher 38:42

Yeah. I was just um my dad is in um my mom is at home and we've moved my dad to um a a facility where he is uh currently and I was there visiting him with my mom and we walked through and she pulled me into uh their little recreation room and she said I have to show you something and she had donated some of their um antique plates with uh my dad loved loves the to watch the birds outside the window or feed the birds so she had put a display you know they already had the display case and she had filled it with some of the things from their house um you know with the birds on them and and things and um you know so that is such a rewarding thing she can walk by on the way to visit and see their things and and other people can enjoy them. Yeah and anything like that. There's so many places that people will be so happy to enjoy the things that you don't need anymore or have too much of so you can abundantly give and the reward you get back is you know more than you would imagine.

Jodi Rosko 39:55

Yeah I I there on our Facebook page on our there I think most towns have a free thing. It's it's buy nothing or giving with gratitude or whatever you know buy nothing groups. And um I had a bunch of art supplies um that my son had wasn't you had never used they were new and um and I put them out there and the lady that took them was so sweet and she sent me a picture of her daughter laying on like not even an hour after she came to pick it up laying on the ground you know using all of and she's like she just loves art and she and it was just it's awesome. Like it's been sitting in my house and now this sweet little girl is there, you know, using it and happy and it just feels great and it feels so much better than having it sit in my house.

Heather Fisher 40:46

And that interaction with her and that feeling that it gave you you know if you would have sold it for $10 at a garage sale or something.

Jodi Rosko 40:55

Yeah and the garage sale I'd have it $10 and they'd like would you like a quarter for that? So yeah. So I love I it does it feels it fills your heart it makes you feel good when you find ways to give it to people who actually want it and will use it. And things deserve to be used. They should not be sitting you know in our houses not being used. So and then the fourth thing I think would be celebrate your progress we talked about that too but really genuinely celebrate your progress little wins big wins whatever that is you're moving towards a freer happier life and acknowledge that yeah absolutely the the the little boost we all get every day from small wins lead up to the big you know those all add up to the big wins um but wait don't wait for a a done to celebrate something that happened each day progress you made each day um you know every time you dedicate 10 minutes yeah celebrate that don't say well uh but I I'm not done right just take those words out and just turn it to I made progress right right right because you did and it's hard and acknowledge that absolutely it's hard and good for you yeah absolutely um the quote I found for today was um it's James Clear who I love he um he wrote atomic abbots and he uh I love I love his thought process but he said um possessions are not the key to happiness freedom is is so freedom is the key to happiness and freedom is found underneath all your stuff it really is it's a mental freedom when you've handled it yep I love that quote yep so um we are um we've got some great episodes coming up we've got a couple guests coming soon so stay tuned um we'll we'll let them um come on here soon but our next few episodes we're we've got a few guests sprinkled in so we're excited that you're here and we hope that you keep listening and we will talk to you next time.

Heather Fisher 43:06

Yep all right keep that mindset good thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap podcast. If you found this episode helpful be sure to subscribe leave us a review and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration. Have questions or ideas for future episodes reach out to us on our website www.downsizingroadmap.com until next time let's keep simplifying and moving forward